The Science Behind a Happy Relationship – Infographic

Reading Time: 2 minutes

Everyone dreams a healthy and happy relationship. But in order to achieve that dream, it requires more than love. A happy relationship is challenging, confusing, but at the same time, it’s rewarding and exhilarating.

After a few years of being together, you must be sure something has changed. Did things stay hot in the bedroom? When is the last time you’re going to date with your partner? Did you rarely talk to your partner nowadays?

Almost every couples face the same problem. There’s no clear answer to this problem. But when it’s come to marriage and relationship satisfaction, sciences do has some interesting things to offer. Thanks to our friends at Happify, they make a beautiful infographic about The science behind a happy relationship.

Here some important point the scientist found out about people in a happy relationship:

  • A happy couple talks more. They spend more than 5 hours per week being together and talking.
  • They show appreciation to each other for something big and small. And they do something nice for their partner
  • They find time for intimacy. The happiest couples have sex at least once a week. According to the research, having sex once a week makes people 44% more likely to have a positive feeling.
  • A happy couple loves experiences new things together. By doing this they feeling more loving and supportive towards one another, and more satisfied with their marriage.
  • A happy marriage is worth an additional $105,000 a year in term of life satisfaction.
  • A happy couple shows enthusiasm and celebrates their partner GOOD news.

the science behind a happy relationship

keep your man happy in a relationship

5 Secrets To Keep Your Man Happy In A Relationship

Reading Time: 6 minutes

It’s not an easy task to always keep your man happy in a relationship. Many times we feel like our partner mind is full of mystery. Sometimes we just don’t know what they’re thinking and feel affected by their action.

How to keep your man happy in a relationship?

Luckily, if your partner is a guy, then keep him happy is a lot simpler than you might think. You just need to pay close attention to his needs and know when to give him space. For most of part, men have a few essential needs in a relationship, if you know how to fill that need, it easy for you to keep him happy.

how to make a guy happy

What most important is, are you feeling happy while you’re pleasing your man? If yes, you can follow the tips below. Because, if you’ve got a good man to love, he deserves to be happy being in a relationship with you.

1- Make ‘him’ happy sexually

Sex is always number #1 in their mind (for most of the guys), trust me! Out of many ways to keep your man happy, this one can easily give you the most mileage. In fact, most of them will be perfectly happy if you just do this and ignore the rest! ;P

You can get an extra point if you find a way to make your sex life more interesting, adventurous and bold. Don’t afraid to try something new and add variety. As an example, you can try new sexual positions or learn how to talk dirty to your man. There’s a lot of things that you can try together as long as you feel comfortable doing it.

Take note, not everything you try will feel great. But be open with the process. Try switching around until you get your favorite position or something that can make it more exciting.

Another idea that you can try is hooking up in a new place. Moving around your home or apartment by exploring every nook and cranny with your bodies also was a good idea. Other than that, it could be outside of your home, whether you check in into the hotel or find a deserted and romantic location to have fun with your man.

secrets to a happy marriage from man's perspectiveOne of the favorite things that I personally like is my wife being bold. Let your man know what you want and when you like it, this definitely can make them feel excited.

While he was working, try to send a sexy text message saying that you’re waiting for him to coming back home with sexy lingerie, and maybe snap some pictures. He will rush back home!

The most important part is, your man wants you to be into it. He wants you naturally want it as bad as him. Show enthusiasm overly and he will more than happy to serve you!

2- Make ‘him’ happy emotionally

Just like women, men also can be a moody creature (some of them may have a period mood, seriously). If you want to make your man happy emotionally you need to pay attention to his needs, get to know to his moods, and take action based on it.

The more time you spend with your partner, the better you’ll get to know about his mood and how to react with the situation. Learn how to read his face, it will show you when he’s upset and wants to be comforted and be open with you.

Or if he’s feeling upset, annoy after getting back from work, just take it easy with him. It’s not the right time to have a “serious talk” with your man, you can wait until he’s in a good mood to continue with your discussion. Because it’s not a wise decision to bring up a serious subject when he’s stressed, you will not get a result that you wanted.

Instead, if you have something important to discuss, pick a reasonable time and place where both of you can focus on the conversation. Keep your voice calm during the conversation, even if you disagree with his point of view.

Remember to have fun with your partner. Plan something that you can laugh together, maybe you can go watch a goofy movie, hanging out at the mall, or taking an impromptu trip to a small theme park. Try to have an amazing time with your man without trying so hard.

3- Know when to leave him alone

Don’t be too clingy, learn how to be there for him when he needs you and how to back off when he needs some space. Being clingy mean that you want to hang out with him 24/7, checking in every minute to ask him where he’s going, what he doing, or who is he talk to.

It’s true spending time together as a couple is important, but you can’t always stay together. You need to spend some time apart. That’s why we always talk about spending quality time together, it’s about quality, not quantity.

Let’s him take some time off to hang out with their buddies, watching their favorite football game, or spend time with their hobbies. Respect that, try not to be offended by their “me time” request.

You also can be proactive about this by offering them their space, it could be even better because he will feel less guilty to ask for it. This is the good way to keep him happy in a genuine way. Sometime they will be happy by just being alone, and that’s totally fine.

4- Appreciate him and what he does

Appreciate him the way he is, appreciate what he does to you, your family and your future. If your partner works outside from home, let him know that you appreciate what he does.

secrets for a happy and loving relationshipBecause even if he does love his job, there’s always a day when he thinks about quitting his job, yelling at his boss or take a few days off. But he doesn’t do it, why? Because maybe part of the reason he didn’t do that was because of you.

Maybe he working an extra hour just to make sure you and your kid get enough food and have a comfortable place to stay. He even settles all the utility bills. What you should do as a partner, at least you need to recognize their effort.

If your partner working from home with kids, he’s also sacrificing for your family. As much as he loves being at home with the kids, he also needs his own “me time”, he wants to spend his time to do anything that he wanted. But he didn’t do it, it all because of his family.

We all know, it’s not easy. Tell him that you know how hard it can be to do that. Tell him that you appreciate everything he does and you see his commitment. Remember, when you’re in a relationship, never argue over money. It does not matter whether it’s your money or his money, it about acknowledging something that people usually takes for granted.

5- Support him

Men do not open up as easily as women do. So don’t expect a deep pillow talk conversation with your man, even though he’s going through a rough phase in life. Support him, tell him something as simple as he’s doing a good job or prepared his favorite meal after a long day is good enough to make him feel cared for.

Understand your partner personal goals. Even he does not openly state them to you, pay attention to his comment or his action. It maybe reflects his desire for his dream for his life and your family. Give him plenty of support for him to pursue his goals.

Behind every successful man, there is a strong woman.

Support his works by offering positivity and word of encouragement can instantly boost his self-esteem because he knows that someone is proud of him and has his back. You also can show him how supportive you’re by admiring and respecting him in front of his/your friends and family members.

Basically, there’s no magic formula to keep your man happy. At the end of the day, it really depends on both of you. You can try to follow these tips to keep your relationship healthy and make your partner happy. But, if you still have a problem despite all the effort you put in, it could be a deeper problem lurking underneath.

how to keep your relationship strong

Relationship Advice For Women: How To Keep Your Relationship Strong

Reading Time: 6 minutes

Forming a positive and trusting relationship really take time, effort and commitment. It does not happen overnight, it could be one year, or maybe more. And you must maintain the relationship to grow stronger and healthier.

How To Keep Your Relationship Strong

how to keep your relationship strong

Obviously, it takes more than love for your relationship to work. We know that love is a foundation for any relationship built. But to keep it stronger, you need more than that. Both parties must willing to work on it.

Dr. Michelle Callahan once said, “Communicating daily and showing affection is what keeps the romance alive”. As an example, just letting your partner know that you like what they’re doing can help you both stay connected.

Read on as these women and men share their tips on how to keep your relationship strong.

1- Communication

Communication is one of the vital parts of any relationship. But, we do hear a lot of couples out there have trouble in communication with their partner. It could be because they wont to talk about their problems, or maybe they’re afraid to voice out their opinion.

Most of them, especially women, will talk about everything except what’s actually bothering them. They afraid once they talk about it, their’s partner will be angry or leave them. For me, this type of relationship is unhealthy.

Your love, your fears, your hope, your passion, your voice, everything, you should let your partner know who you really are. Find quality time with your partner to talk about things that are important to each of you. It looks simple, but it can make your relationship grow stronger.

Read more7 Ways To Communicate Effectively In Relationship

Use the word ‘we’ rather than ‘you’ to communicate with your partner. When you talk with your partner, especially in an argument, the word ‘you’ will make them feel like you’re trying to attack them. They will pick up on that and start being defensive.

As an example, you want to ask your partner to give a hand on household chores. If you do not choose your word wisely, it will be like you’re trying to attack him for not helping you. Let’s say you said something like:

“Why you make me do this and that ….”

Instead, you can change it to something like this:

“Can we do this together …”

A researcher from the University of California, Berkeley, Robert Levenson, and his colleagues, found that couples who used the word ‘we’ when talking are calmer, happier, and in general are more satisfied with their relationship rather than a couple whose communicate in term of ‘you’.

2- Practice acceptance, show appreciation

If you want a long happy relationship, you need to learn how to accept your partner. Usually, at the early stage of the relationship, you will learn around 20-40% of your partner behavior. As time has passed, when you’re getting closer, you will learn more about them.

And some of it, there’s must be something that you didn’t like, or didn’t agree about it. It could be anything. Or I would rather say that this is the beginning of the real relationship, it’s no longer a fairy tale story.

This is when you need to be able to fully accept your partner. But, it does not mean that you need to accept everything they said, or agree on everything they do. What important is, you have to know that this is who they are.

Once we have learned about acceptance, we can move to appreciation. Same as per I said before, at the early stage of the relationship, you will appreciate everything about your new partner. They seem perfect, even the craziest things they do look awesome, or cute.

After a few years, things start to change, the way we see something also changes. You can start to piss off with something like leaving the wardrobe open, even after repeated requests to change this behavior.

In other to have a strong healthy relationship, you need to overcome this problem. How? You need to change your perspective, the way you see things. After being married for a long time, let say more than 7 years, and you still want to be married, you need to realize that loving your partner is far more important than some irritating behavior that they have.

By doing this, practically your priorities have shifted. Changing your partner have become less important than loving them as who they are. You shift to appreciate them by focusing on what they do that makes you feel great.

3- Don’t argue over money

Out there, lots of marriage couple divorce because of money, it’s practically a guaranteed relationship killer. If you haven’t had a conversation over how money is earned, saved, spend and shared, you need to do it right now.

Try to get a better understanding of how each of you sees your financial life, find the difference, and work on it. Don’t hide it to your partner, especially if you’re in a tight situation. You need to share it with your partner so then both of you aware of the situation.

communicate effectively in relationship

If both of you are working, try practice something like this, it’s simple and practical:

Take turns to buy meals/things for each other. If your partner always treats you for dinner, make an effort to treat them also. It’s can mean a lot for them, especially ‘him’. In terms of money, it’s kinda the same. In terms of happiness, it’s ten times better.

Teamwork and mutual respect are always a key to keeping financially peaceful in your household. You both can decide together on how to manage the money issue. Have a talk with your partner if you want to make a big purchase.

It does not matter if you’re going to use your money over the big purchase, rule number one is always consulting your partner first. If you practice this, they will feel respected and feel always in a team. This can improve your teamwork and mutual respect.

4- Respect your partner

To have a long-lasting happy marriage, there’s must be high mutual respect between both partners. Respecting your partner comes in many forms, it’s could be the way you talk, the way you call him/her, or the way you treat your partner.

However, there are many things people do in a relationship without being aware that they’re actually disrespecting their partner. As an example, using a rude word when you argue with them, cheating them, talking negatively about them to your family or friends and etc.

It’s true that nobody perfects, if they’re being disrespect by mistake, learn to forgive them. Ask them to improve this and learn from their mistake. You also need to be prepared to apologize sincerely when you made a mistake.

You can’t always be the same page with your partner, that’s perfectly fine and it’s normal in every relationship. That’s why, when the differences arise, it’s important for you to discuss with them respectfully. Take time to listen to your partner when they share their opinion.

5- Express your love

Expressing our love for each other was the most crucial part of our relationship. To maintain the relationship and to keep it strong, you must fill your relationship with love. It’s the same as a flower, you need to water the flowers every day for it to grow stronger and prettier.

“Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.” -Lao Tzu

Lust can fade, love stays. Love is always a foundation in any relationship. So if you want to maintain the relationship, it’s important for you to express your love through actions, words and non-verbal communication.

Before that, you need to understand your partner need. According to Gary Chapman, the director of Marriage and Family Life Consultants, Inc, he stated that men and women have five love languages. So basically people have unique ways of feeling loved.

It could be the words of affirmation, quality time, acts of service, receiving a gift or physical touch. Understands the ways your partner feels loved can helps you express love in a way that your partner can appreciate.

You can try a few different methods, and see what generate the most positive response. Telling each other what makes you feel loved and special can help you and your partner stay connected.

secrets for a happy and loving relationship

10 Surprising Secrets To A Happy Relationship

Reading Time: 3 minutes

Whatever the demographics, building a loving and understanding relationship clearly isn’t easy. Love relationships are perhaps the most complicated. They might be the 30s or 75s, it doesn’t matter how long they’ve been together.

key to a happy relationship

There are many ways to maintain a happy relationship. Follow this simple secret for a happy and loving relationship. It’s may also improve relationship satisfaction and increase the chances of long-term success. Here are the 10 surprising secrets to a happy relationship.

  1. Honesty is vital

Honesty and trust need truth, not lies. Being honest with both yourself and your partner is important when developing a relationship. Don’t let your mistrust hurts your loved ones. And once trust is lost or broken, it can take a very long time to fix up the relationship.

  1. Spend quality time

The way you interact with your partner and spend time together is a good sign of how things will go in the long haul. But as long as you’re communicating, step away from social media, having fun, then you should be on the right track.

For example: watching TV can be quality time if it is used as a chance to connect with one another. Meanwhile, you can talk about what you’re watching and relate it to your goals, life together, and your evolving understanding of the world.

  1. Respect

Respect is something everyone deserves and you have to give respect in order to get it. Even when you’re having a fight. And reminding them how much they mean to you will improve your relationship. As well as don’t be afraid to express your feelings of appreciation with your partner.

  1. Make surprises

Surprises may add sparkle to your relationships such as doing birthday surprises, dinner dates and etc. The key is to make sure that you simply give the gift or give hint note to express your love, expecting nothing in return.

  1. Give compliments

In a relationship, you should feel able to express your feelings without fear of judgment. There’s no reason to be shy about complimenting your partner when you feel like it as long as it comes from the heart.

  1. Do not control

Controlling your partner gives negative effects on the relationship. Eliminate the fear of losing your partner and think of how the change would be good for you and how it could bring some positive effects on your relationship. In opposite, let your partner know that you’re doing your best work on for your relationship.

  1. Ask for opinions

Uncover your thoughts and feelings to your partner. Being good together does not mean that couples agree on everything.

Yet, most of the couples actually had differed attitudes, belief systems and opinions. At sometime place may hold opposing views and acceptance. A loving couple respects the point of view of one another over their points. For example, always listen to your partner opinion and decide the right one.

  1. Share the chores

share the choresAccording to this new study on divide household chores – How you divide household chores can determine how happy you are in your relationship, found that some chores helped couples reduce relationship disagreements.

Decide together on an equal division of chores, helps to improve understandings among couples and enhance your friendship.

  1. Acceptance

Acceptance makes each one of us unique can facilitate our ability to accept our partners. Practicing self-compassion can extremely boost our relationships with our romantic partners. After all, solving dissimilarities can be helped highly when partners feel accepted by one another.

  1. Priority

Benjamin Franklin said that if you love life, “then do not squander time, for that is the stuff that life is made of.”

Love your partner and encourage him to live a healthy life that includes eating healthy, exercise and well-balanced meals. Besides, make your relationship and your partner as top priorities and everything else as second. Next, to make your love life more exciting, encourage each other to learn new things and explore new worlds.

In conclusion, if you choose to live your life with ethics, that includes saying what you mean and meaning what you say. Laughter is a great way to build your love life. So don’t take things too seriously, and share a laugh whenever you can. Follow these tips and you will not only be able to save your relationship but also be able to enjoy life.

Simple Ways Developing Positive Relationship

5 Simple Ways Developing Positive Relationship

Reading Time: 3 minutes

Having a positive relationship makes you happier mentally and physically. You become less stressful and more productive. So it’s important for you to take the time to understand why you need a positive relationship in your life.

Let me explain…

Love or belongingness is the third level of human needs according to Maslow’s hierarchy after physiological and safety needs has been fulfilled. Despite many kinds of love, people tend to define love in a romantic relationship between two compatible individuals.

Typically, people exaggerate what they feel about love just like you will have a sleepless night, do not mind to sacrifice something even thing that you love the most and will stay around your partner even they are really annoying.

Well, believe it or not, most of it is true as love is a powerful, strong and positive emotional as well as mental state that gives you the courage to do all that.

Simple Ways Developing Positive Relationship

But, once you have reached another phase of life which is married you will hear or feel all the upside down about relationship and you keep questioning yourself. Why did this thing happen? It is because love getting fading away? What can I do to keep my partner happy?

Yeah, it sounds so messed up but remembers, ‘A relationship is like a house. When a light-bulb burns out you do not go and buy a new house, you fix the light bulb’. So here is some secret on how to make our relationship as a positive relationship that lasts longer.

1# Communication is the key

Have you ever heard a song from Justin Bieber entitle “What do you mean?” This song might sound catchy but it actually tells us a reality, which a boy who is confused and always misunderstand what the girl wants.

So, in order to solve the problem we need to improve communication with our partner even on small things. Girls, do not let boy solve a puzzle that you create, they will hardly succeed while boys please encourage your girls to talk on what they feel frequently.

2# Let go of your ego

Ego is not something you should keep if you want to have a healthy relationship. Just tell him or her right away if you miss your partner or love them. Express your feeling sincerely by dropping your ego. Say sorry when you are wrong and ask for forgiveness somehow is the best remedy in facing a problem.

3# Be careful of what you say

When you were arguing with your partner beware of the words that you use. It is true that the tongue has no bones but it is firm enough to break a heart. Just like ‘A gentle answer turns away rage, but a harsh word stirs up anger’.

4# Nourish your love

Some relationship ends because they were bored with their partner. Same routine every day, tired getting off from work and also tremendous workload cause them to spend less time with their partner. Thus, they feel nothing interesting in their relationship anymore. Therefore, nourish love continuously would be the best answer.

Try to spend more time with them, for instance, go for a picnic, watch movies or vacation. A celebration on anniversary or surprise birthday party also is really recommended just to make them feel they are still valuable and precious for you.

5# Be mature in your relationship

Immature people tend to have an unsuccessful relationship because they kept on blaming each other despite finding a solution. Obstacles are much easier to overcome if you are being rational. Being immature is one of the most reason your partner pulling away from you.

Being mature is a skill that you should learn in order to keep your relationship strong and healthy. Your partner is also a human, which is capable of making mistakes. Let patience give you strength and maturity helps you make the right decision.

Time To Let Go Of Someone

How To Know When To Let Go Of Someone You Love

Reading Time: 8 minutes

Letting go of someone you love is one of the hardest things to do in our life. Our mind already makes a decision to let them go, but emotionally we feel hurt, confused and complicated. We still not sure whether that was the right decision or not.

“You will find that it is necessary to let things go; simply for the reason that they are heavy. So let them go, let go of them.” ― C. JoyBell C.

Have you ever heard a story of holding a glass of water? No? It’s a great inspiring story. A story about one Professor began his class by holding a glass of water. He held the glass and start asking his student how much the glass weight?

holding glassIt could be 50gms, 100gms, or 125gms, the student answered. Then the Professor said he also doesn’t know the weight of the glass, his true question is what will happen if he held up the glass for a minute. His student said nothing will happen.

And what happens if that Professor held up the glass for an hour? One of the students said his arm would begin to ache. The Professor continues, what will happen if he held it for a day?

“Your arm could go numb, you might have several muscle stress and paralysis and maybe need to go to the hospital”, the student answered. But did the weight of the glass change? Obviously no. The cause of the pain was because you held up the glass for a long time. Same goes to your problem, if you have a problem in your relationship, don’t hold it for a long time. You must know when you should let it go, otherwise, you may end up going to the hospital (mental hospitals).

How To Know When To Let Someone You Love Go

Knowing how to end a relationship with someone is a key to being able to cut your losses, maintain your mental health and your well-being. Following are the 7 signs it’s time to let go of someone based on the expert review.

1- Everyday is a war – you argue constantly.

Every couple argues, we can say that this is normal in any relationships. If you argue in a good way, it’s can help you to share your opinion on the issues and move forward with the solution.

However, it will be a little bit abnormal if both of you can’t seem to agree on anything. Whatever you or your partner do will end up with the argument. When you argue, you actually want your partner to understand your perspective and reasoning.

how to know when to let someone go

Meanwhile, because of the difference in communication styles and relationship experiences, an argument can be the scariest enemy. It could be worse if your argument is used as a way to insult your partner. You should not disrespect your partner character, traits, or purposely said something to hurt them emotionally.

And if this type of argument happens in your relationship, it’s probably a good time to take a break. Having a healthy argument is okay and reasonable, it should not be done in a way that makes other people feel worse.

2- They’re trying to ‘fix’ you.

You should never need to be like another person just to entertain someone. First of all, it’s exhausting, and it’s show that your relationship is not consensual. If he not accepting you the way you’re, why bother to have a serious relationship with you.

Note: But do not too comfortable with “the way you’re” right now. If you have some space of you which is lacking, try to improve it. Don’t be someone else, but be a better version of you. Upgrade yourself.

It’s wiser to lose someone rather than being someone that you didn’t want to be. Because a great relationship is a combination of two imperfect couple, who are completing and supporting each other. If your partner truly loves you, he wouldn’t be trying to ‘fix’ you.

3- You are being disrespected.

Respect is one of the most important aspects of any relationship. It does not matter whether you’re men or women, it’s compulsory to respect your partner. It’s a key to happiness for a long-lasting relationship.

Meanwhile, disrespect can ruin a relationship. Disrespect may come in many forms, sometimes you may not fully recognize it on the surface, but you’ll always feel it. Behaviors such as cheating, lying, and insults, are all signs of disrespect. Because it shows that they’re not concern about your feeling and how all of this behavior can affect you.

If you’re not sure whether your partner is disrespecting or just unaware, you can try to consult your partner first. Tell them that you’re unhappy with this type of behavior, it’s hurt your feeling.

Monitor what happens after the discussion, if your partner makes an effort to understand your perspective and try to improve their behavior, they actually care about you. But, if they didn’t care about what actually happens, and still showing a lack of respect for you, it’s time to make a decision and moving forward.

4- Your trust is continuously broken.

Who agrees with me if I said trust and loyalty is priority number one in a relationship. Trust is a foundation in any relationship built, while mistrust is the one who destroys it. Nothing weakens a relationship more than dishonesty.

Take note, when you trust someone and they continuously break your trust, don’t care about your feelings, was not your faults. It’s theirs. You might naturally want to blame yourselves for having trusted someone that you fall in love. Stop it and let it go.

5- They take things for granted.

If someone really wants you in their life, they will work hard to make you happy. Do not hold on into a relationship with someone who takes things for granted. It’s not worth your time and your efforts. Know your worth, place your price! When you give yourselves to someone who doesn’t value you, it’s like you surrender your soul and never get it back.

In a relationship, the energy flow between the couple mostly equal. That why it’s important for you to practice give-and-take. If you practice one person doing all the work, you’ll create unbalance and a disconnected relationship.

If you feel you’ve been doing most of the work to maintain your relationship, try to take a big step backward and see what happens. If your partner starts to pick up the slack and come toward you, then your partner still has the effort to repair the relationship.

However, if you step back and they do not come toward you, instead they get angry or continue to drift away, I think you already know the answers.

6- The goodness is gone.

In any new relationship, there’s always have a feeling of happiness and excitement because of someone we like is coming into our lives. We’ll start care for each other, supporting each other, and love each other! That’s how we feel, it’s intoxicating.

But if you’re in a bad relationship with someone and you increasingly have a negative feeling when they were around you, it’s likely that you’re being with someone who is not compatible with you. Chemistry and shared value are important, a solid relationship is built from the goodness that exists between two people.

relationship standards that actually matter

Goodness is what holds the relationship together. It’s being in every partner side even when they might be wrong. It’s the willingness to forgive a mistake or tolerate an annoying habit from their partner. It’s the support, respect, dedication, responsible, admiration, and commitment you have for each other.

You might have this at the early stage of your relationship, but now it erodes slowly over time. The goodness may be fading because of argument, anger, distance, lack of respect and etc. Unfortunately, one the goodness fade, it’s can hurt your relationship and it’s very hard to regain.

7- They don’t make future plans with you.

If someone really loves and care for you, they will make everything clear. Whether about their job, their schedule and their future plans with you. It means that they prioritize you and they place you in their life.

It’s not because you want to depend on them. But you need to realize, people who are undependable often find an assortment of excuses. Someone undependable is mainly not a person worthy of your presence, and your future.

I’m not saying that you need to know all your future plan right away, but if you’ve been with someone for more than 1 year and they don’t have any plan where things may head with you, they’re not really into you. Love yourselves enough to know that you deserve better.

It’s important for you to know that you never need to settle down for someone who isn’t right for you. We’re not living in a fairy tale, people break promises, loves, and hurt you. Remove the toxic from your life. You know you deserve better. Remember, you can always start dating again.

One Thing That Proves You’re Meant For Each Other

People say the meaning of our life is to find our gift. And the purpose of our life is to give it away.

But in order to give, there’s must be someone to receive it. So who should you give it to?

I bet you already have that ‘someone’ image on your thoughts right now. And as you read this phrase, you can roughly picture his face.

The thing is, you’re not really sure about that. Thinking about him brings up mixed emotions. Because you know that your relationship has potential. And you know how good you could be together.

Yet there’s a pain in there. And that pain comes from the fact that something is blocking you from giving away your greatest gift. Your love..

I know it’s not easy to let go of someone you love. When you’ve shared a special connection with someone, it’s not easy to let it go. Especially when you know, deep in your heart there’s still a lot of potentials to improve the relationship.

You could build a beautiful life together, make a better future.

If that something that you want, then it’s worth fighting for.

But then something comes to your mind. Your own thoughts. And it could be something like this..

“Why not I just settle for some other guy?”

“Why not I pour my love into a guy who adores me more then he did?”

Let me ask you, is that okay to have a relationship with some pudgy guy, poor social skill and have body odor? But he appreciates your love more than anyone you’ve ever met? Should both of you elope?

Of course not. Even he is a normal guy with a handsome face, you may get the same answer.

Why?

Because it’s about mutual desire. Deep down in your heart, he’s not the not. Your heart already makes a decision. She already chooses someone…

And don’t hold your cards, “I’ll only reveal my true feelings if he goes first.”

If you want to win back your man’s heart, there’s something that you need to know. Showing that you still like him is not enough.

You need to find and get past the barriers that are currently keeping you both a part.

No matter how stubborn he is, no matter how “logical” his decision, he’s still human. Which mean emotion drive his decision-making more than anything else.

Here the secret to getting back your ex. Forget about convincing him to give things one more try. Instead, you should focus on changing the way he feels.

Sounds right? If you like the idea, but you’re not sure where to start, I recommend you to check the Relationship rewrite method by James Bauer. I’m not being biased, but it’s really worth your time to check his video.

It could be the beginning of a new chapter with your ex, just waiting for you to turn the page.

why a guy would let go a good woman

Be A Good Women Sometime Won’t Be Enough

Reading Time: 5 minutes

What is the real reason a guy would let go a good woman? Have you ever heard that good woman find herself difficult to get a husband? I’ve heard a lot of response from a woman saying that men leave good women because they didn’t see the good in them, or they take things for granted, or they are ungrateful men.

why men leave good women

But is that a true reason why they would let go a good woman? Or is it just a one-sided assumption from women herself? Well, it may be true, it maybe not.

For women who just break up, the first question is always “why?”

“Why did he leave me?”

“What did I do wrong?”

“Did I offend him?”

The truth is, for men and women, who love each other, if you’re not happy with your relationship (even though you’ve been trying to improve the relationship), you’ll do what’s best for you including let her go.

So, if you’ve been shocked by the men you love unexpectedly ending the relationship, not because of the reason I state above, then there must be a something else. Maybe it’s because of the things that you’re not even realized.

From my personal observation, this is the top reason why a guy would let go a good woman.

1- He felt pressure and inadequate

Were you set any standard in your relationship? For example, he must do this and that before he got something in return. Or did you chase him to get more love and affection than what he was giving you?

If yes, then your relationship definitely is not balanced. It can be one of the reasons why he felt pressure and inadequate in your presence. To be honest, this is not your fault.

Most men usually run from their own emotional pressure (and most of them will never admit it). He just does what he does best when he’s under pressure, like escape from the source of pain in an effort to protect himself.

Men who feel inadequate most likely misinterpret your message or intention. An example, you tell your lover “We never going out anymore”, or “You used to buy me a small gift before”. It’s generally a message to your lover that you wanted them to do something that you’d enjoy.

But what they usually understand is you’re unhappy and he failed to make you happy. In his mind he feel like anything he does isn’t good enough for you.

How to overcome this problem

You can try to change the way you communicate with your lover, try not to focus on what he’s lacking. Choose your word wisely, instead of saying “We never going out anymore”, try “You’d make me happy if you can…” or “I’d love if we can…”. Focus on the positive side of his behavior on you.

Highlight any specific behavior that you want him to repeat more, make it more clear. Don’t just give him a hint and assume he already knows what you really want. Communication is essential for a happy relationship, if you struggling to communicate effectively, check out my other post on how to communicate effectively in a relationship.

2- He feels like he can’t be himself

We always heard that a guy will leave a woman because she’s “nagging” too much, or because she always trying to “fix” that guys. But that doesn’t really explain the whole picture.

When you’re already in a serious relationship, there is the time where you see your partner from a different angle, you’ll discover a new side of him that you never know before. It’s could be good or worse. So it really depends on you on how to manage this situation.

If you try to push your partner to follow your standard or make him feel like he can’t be himself around you, it’s going to grate him. This reason alone might be enough for him to leave you, even if he’s deeply in love with you.

How to overcome this problem

A great relationship is a combination of two imperfect partners, who are supporting each other to become a better person. Being honest, genuine selves with each other can keep your relationship strong. Do not try to changes your partner to follow your direction, instead, both of you need to learn on how to improve yourselves to become a better partner.

Make yourselves clear, if you don’t like the way he acts when he’s being honest and genuine to you, make a decision and move forward.

3- He’s tired of being compared to other men

Do you know what is the root of joy and happiness in every relationship for men? It’s simply because of knowing that we’re the chosen one, out of everyone in the world, by our partner. We can smile all day when we know that you choose us.

Did you remember your lover said, “thank you for choosing me” or “thank you for accepting me in your life”, right? It shows how grateful he was when you choose him to become your partner.

But when you, or your friends, or your families compared him to the other men, it hurt them so much, inside. He feels like he’s not your first choice, he has been compared negatively to the other men and he doesn’t stack up. This can erode his joy and his desire to be in the relationship.

Maybe you can say that he was soft and not up to the challenges. But deep down you know, that’s not true. Try to twist the plot, let’s say he said something to you, that you’re not good enough to be compared with his friend girlfriend. How did you feel?

No one wants to feel that way, it’s a horrible feeling. It’s enough to make him leave the relationship.

How to overcome this problem

Simple – Do not compare your partner with other people. Instead, try to compare them with a monkey or fish. It will be much better.

4- He didn’t feel respected

Maybe you’re a good fine woman with pretty eyes and beautiful hair. You have a stable income and working at a good company. But if you can’t respect your partner, your relationship simply won’t work. There are no men in the world can’t build a life with a woman who’s doesn’t respect him.

It doesn’t matter if you are older than him or make more money than him. You still need to show respect to your partner. That the basic rule in a relationship.

MoreRelationship Advice For Women: How To Date A Younger Man

How to overcome the problem

He has to feel that you’re on his back beyond and above anyone else. Because you’re the key to his success and greatness. In order for him to unlock all the ability around him, he needs a deep and solid foundation of respect. With you as a high caliber women by his side, he can achieve more success and take greater risk in his life.

So now you’ve already known the reason why a guy would let go a good woman. If you one of the women, it’s time to reflect and take immediate action to rectify the situation if you still love him. Once you know to break through his defense and touch his heart, he will be yours.

If you have good advice to add to this list please share it through a comment below.

Not Happy In Your Relationship

7 Signs Of A Bad Relationship and It Is Almost Over

Reading Time: 6 minutes

Everyone wants a healthy and happy relationship that lasts long. But in order to maintain a healthy relationship, both of you must require a remarkable amount of focus and effort. Do not take things for granted, tolerate, supports each other, show gratitude are the most important keys for a happy relationship.

But at some point, we all get involved in serious challenges in the relationship. After that, we realized that things start to changes. Our partner suddenly became a different person. We will feel like, “he was not like this when I first know him”, right? The fact is, he also start thinking the same about you.

signs of a bad relationship

That’s how the journey of an unhappy relationship start. The sad truth is, there’s a lot of couples out there who stays together even though they are unhappy. They stay in that relationship may be because of their kid’s sake, life commitment, compassion, loyalty, patience, and many other reasons.

What are the signs of a bad relationship?

So maybe you need to ask yourselves, have you ever been feeling stuck in your relationship? Are things not moving fast enough? If you not sure, here the 7 signs that you’re not happy in your relationship. Hope it can help you clarify the problem that has been bothering you and help you figure out what course of action best serve you from here.

1- You avoid spending time with your partner.

Avoidance is a sure sign that there is trouble in your relationship. A relationship requires work, time and energy to make it work. So if you feel bored, uninterested, or not enjoying time spent with your partner, it could mean that you’re not happy with your partner.

But do not confuse this. If you’re having a good time with your friends or finally have a moment for yourselves after your busy day and ignore all the incoming text or phone call, don’t worry. You’re allowed to have your “me” time for yourselves.

What I mean by avoidance is when you feel flinch with the idea of watching a movie together or have dinner together. If this happens, it’s time to start re-evaluating things.

2- You rarely initiate sex these days.

Do you believe that sex is a good barometer to judge the state of your relationship? For me, it depends on the situation. Let’s say you just have the baby within your small family, don’t expect to have sex as many as you have before the child was born.

But if you rarely initiate sex, without any specific reason, you just feel don’t like it or bored, then you might be struggling with the relationship. Sexual connection is necessary to your wellbeing and the intimacy you need in your relationship.

Frankly speaking, we generally don’t want to have sex with someone when we don’t feel some sense of joy or pleasure with that person. So ask yourselves a question, are you really not sexually attracted to your partner anymore.

3- You are feeling insecure

When you start dating someone, it will take some time for you to figure out whether you fit their world or not. You probably make some effort to know more about their work, their family and close friends. You want to be one of their important things in their lives.

Read: 7 Secrets To A Happy Marriage From Man’s Perspective

However, when your relationship starts to crumble, you’ll start to see the sign of insecurities. The main problem with insecurities in a relationship is that it start o affect both you and your partner.

Nowadays, with the presence of the internet, smartphone, and social media, insecurities run wild in a relationship. As an example, it’s could be that you’re always want to check up on your partner phone. You want to know who they’ve been texting, direct messaging, or call.

If you’re constantly self-doubt about your relationship, perhaps this isn’t the relationship that you should be in. However, if the feeling of insecurities is just based on your imagination, it’s time to correct it as soon as possible.

4- You start looking at other people as a potential partner.

There’s always a man walking around you, and the problem is they start to get your attention. Have you ever thought something like this:

“will it be better if I married to this kind of man”

“why I didn’t meet someone like this before”

“I wish my partner can be like him”

When you start comparing your partner with the other men, the game has already changed. Later you’ll start to wish your partner to be more like your friend’s husband, or you find yourselves fully attracted to a specific man.

This will not happen if you’re really happy in your marriage or relationship. Because you don’t feel the need to look somewhere else, and in fact, you don’t really even think about it.

5- You don’t have much to talk to your partner.

It will awkward if you going to dinner with your partner sitting in complete silence and uncomfortably staring at your dinner plate. If you and your partner regularly find yourselves in this uneasy situation, you should discuss whether you should stay together or not.

Because communication is the cornerstone of a happy relationship. When we care about someone, we will make an effort to listen to what they want to say. If you have any resentment, you must talk it out rather than let the resentment grow. Discuss it with your partner and be open so they can be worked out.

If you still arguing about almost everything, even after you’ve tried to work on this problem, consider talking to a couples counselor. Involving the third party in your relationship sometimes can be very helpful. I hate to tell you this, but if you don’t think the relationship is worth that kind of commitment, it might be time to throw in the towel.

6- You’ve stopped trying to impress them.

When you first meet with your partner, you really put your best effort to impress them. It could be that you wear your most flattering outfits, go to the saloon to make your hair, and even arrived 1 hour earlier waiting for him. This is a normal part of the courtship process in an early relationship.

Then, there will come a day when they have to see you in your homey pajamas with messy hair, or maybe it’s even worse than that. You’ll also start to see the other side of your partner. This is real life if you’re going to have a reality-based relationship.

Even after you’ve become more comfortable with your partner, you still want to take care of your appearance right? Because physical appearance plays a vital part in your relationship life. If this element of trying to impress your partner suddenly disappears, you might have a problem.

Simply said, if you don’t have a need to impress them, you need to question yourselves your own level of interest and commitment that you willing to give to your partner.

7- You’ve been cheating.

In a relationship, everyone does not like being deceived, same goes to you and your partner. Once you’ve been decided to be in a serious relationship, you need to create strong boundaries with any third party that can cause a problem down the line. Right?

This could involve ending a friendship and limiting contact with a certain type of people, that is worth to protect your relationship. This is a normal situation in a normal relationship.

But, if you start exchanging sexually suggestive text, or sharing personal details about your relationship with someone that you’ve been flirt with, you actually have been cheating.

Obviously, I don’t have the right to judge you, but you can ask this within yourselves. If this behavior make you feel guilty? Or did you didn’t want your partner find out about this?

Be honest with yourselves, have you been cheating? I assume you’ve already known the answer.

Take action or move on

If you discover that you’re unhappy with your relationship, you can still make a change. Because it’s not easy to choose to break up if you’re a married couple, there’s a lot of things you need to consider before you make a decision.

So what you need to do is, try to list out which area you’re lacking and focus to improve those areas. Ask your partner to take part in this improvement. Try to give your best shot. If you’ve already made an improvement and still unhappy, give yourselves permission to end a relationship with your partner.

Your marriage is the place you live most of the time, so it should be a happy place, not a prison. Take responsibility for your own happiness. You only live once, you deserve and worthy of happiness.

What your opinion about the list? Leave your comment below, we love to hear your feedback.

relationship standards that actually matter

5 Important Things That Matters In Relationship

Reading Time: 3 minutes

Strong Relationship is all about decisions!

Princess Alerts! If you seeking some kind of Romeo/Juliet, Cleopatra/Antony stories, well yeah you might see yourself out. I just not the prince. As all other great couples begin, there were all experienced the intros. (Damn I hate it when I heard one but it is a necessity!)

First, you all need to know that I am a man and a real one (If you know what I mean), in the early 30s, still single (R.I.P. me…) and had a frustrated break-up twice and the rest not really. Oh, you judging me now. Come on we can’t love all people. That just not humanly possible. I’m definitely not here to tell you of my past and get sympathy out of it. As I said I’m a man plus handsome (You can’t buy that).

relationship standards that actually matter

Since it was about a relationship, there are no right and wrong to throw out your opinions, interest and live with it. Am I right? As long as you’re not lending my money to stay on course, I guess it’s fine with me. I’ve decided to start writing whatever that I’ve thought is what is all about and I’m open for comments as well. I may be handsome but I’m not stupid.

So what is the five relationship standards that actually matter?? Like hell I know…

  1. Be Yourself

This must be top on the list. Don’t be Brad Pitt. You can’t pretend all the way until you grey! Sitting in a boring class listening for 2 hours would get you hung and dry, so just imagine if you try to be someone else for the rest of your life. Do you want to change? Change for the better version of you.

  1. Trust & Acceptance

Trust is confidence, reliance, belief, and faith. This will take some time and it has to be earned. You might have some sort of test to identify it in the early stages. I think it’s okay to put it that way. Acceptance, on the other hand, was easy to understand but hard to endure. Don’t be scare pretty (If only applicable).

  1. Give & Takes

Takes sounds more economically worth-doing. Okay leave that mind state at your works and go another way around (Give, in case you’re too naïve) when it comes to your loved one. God that sounds heaven isn’t it? Well, do it. Even it is ended with you splitting your morning coffee. Damn, I won’t do it.

  1. Perfection

Even it is for Gandhi, he still no way near to my handsomenasity. Yet he got millions of followers and his name stays close to our hearts ever since. So stop looking for that and start to find ‘OUR’ tunes. If it’s so blurry, ask your mom.

  1. Financially Equal

I must say this is a strong point but I submitted a big No as for my depositions on this. I believe equality must be seen from other elements such as family, culture, religions, bla..bla.. that really hard to break it! But still, we need to embrace each other to keep world peace and sound. (I’m so United Nation).

In Life, getting second opinions is always a wise move to make, but still, you’re the one on it and no single formula can apply at all! Get it and improvise.

I’m starting to think I should get a tagline for my writings. You’re all officially invited to give ideas. Be proud of it.

I think that’s it for now. So long dudes.

simple habits that create better relationships

How To Have Better Relationships With These 5 Simple Habits

Reading Time: 5 minutes

Building better relationships is not as hard as you think. The real secrets are not about big gestures, being romantic or being rich. It’s the small action and subtle thoughts happen daily without being noticed. It’s about consistency, a lifetime commitment to your loved one.

I remember one of the Simon Sinek motivational talks, he said something like this. Someone didn’t fall in love with you because you remembered her birthday or bought her flower on Valentine’s day.

building better relationship

She fell in love with you because when you woke up in the morning you said good morning to her before you checked your phone.

She fell in love with you because when you went to the fridge to get yourself a drink, you got her one without even asking.

She fell in love with you because when you had an amazing day at work while she came home with a terrible day at work and you didn’t say a word about your amazing day, instead you sat and listen to her awful day.

All these things look small and simple, yet it brings a huge impact on your relationship. If you don’t believe me, ask your partner.

During my work in these industries, I’ve come to observe that good habits of people that hold a relationship together over time. Good habits create a strong and healthy, better relationship, while bad habits most likely will destroy it.

It could be because of your bad habits you’re having a hard time in a relationship, or it could be because of your bad habits he pulls away from you.

People are not born with natural good habits in a relationship, nevertheless, it’s still can be learned and mastered if you recognized the needs. It takes time and effort to develop them.

Here are five simple habits that create better relationships:

1- Being honest and respectful of each other

Being honest with your partner can keep the relationship strong. Barton Goldsmith Ph.D., a psychotherapist, syndicated columnist, and radio host says that,

What honesty gives you is a great deal of comfort. Knowing you can implicitly trust your mate allows you to be your best self, and your relationship will continue to thrive because you are able to give each other the positive energy you need to navigate life’s ups and downs.

So if you want your partner to trust you, you must be honest with each other. Respect on the other hand also can builds trust and show acceptance. Showing disrespect to your partner will slowly weaken and creates barriers in your relationship.

2- Stay connected

What I mean with stay connected is not by calling your partner every 10 minutes or texting him/her every second. It’s more likely to be present and pays attention to your partner, check up on each other.

Make a good habit by calling your partner after a long day at work to see how they’re feeling. Or just simply send a text message to make sure they made it home okay after a long journey. It’s such a small thing, but it’s can really make a big difference in your relationship. You will have a better connection and feel taken care of by one another.

Read more10 Surprising Secrets For A Happy And Loving Relationship

You also can show attention to your partner by showing attentiveness and responsiveness when something arises. As an example, responding to your partner when they ask a question or bringing something on your way home when they asked.

According to statistic, 86 percent of happily married couple respond to their partner bid of attention, instead of only 36 percent of unhappy couples do the same.

3- Be supportive

Support each other is a foundation of every great relationship, why? Because our life is full of challenges. Will you or your spouse still be there for you if you lose a job? Death in a family member, or illness? Ask yourself this question. If you want your partner to be with you no matter what happens, you must be ready to support your spouse also.

In term of supportive, it’s not good to always make “you” as your “main” subject. Your partner also needs to become the “main” subject. As an example, if you love hiking, you can’t push her to follow you all the time doing what you love, instead spend some of your time doing something that your partner love. It’s called give and takes.

If you are a guy, support your spouse by helping her in housekeeping, such as cleaning, shopping, and cooking. Give them some space and time to focus on their own-self. Occasionally let them hanging out with their friends or family members while you take care of your children also was a good support.

4- Be a good listener

Listening is an important skill in a relationship. Unfortunately, only a few of us are taught how to be a good listener. Even though we know that listening is important, sometimes we just too busy thinking of what we want to say next instead of trying to listen to what other people saying.

The fact is everyone wants to feel heard when they talk, same goes to your partner. Letting your partner know that you’re listening to their problems, feeling, concern and fear can make her/him build trust on you.

A couple who are good listening to one another will have a strong happily relationship.

5- Keep the dating vibe alive.

Even after you are married, going out for a date can help to keep your relationship fresh. Be realistic, don’t aim to impress your partner. Understanding your partner feeling is far more important than trying to impress them.

If you are on a tight budget, go for the simple one. As an example, go for a walk or watch movies, spend the time to talk to each other, listen to your partner problem, go out of the city or anything. Take this opportunity to know your partner better and make him/her feel better.

Tony Robbin, one of the most popular and recognizable self-help coaches in the world once said that “The quality of your life is the quality of your relationships.” Which is true! If your husband or wife is happy, then all the people in your house will be happy. It brings positive energy and positive environment.

Conclusion

A successful relationship is a combination of small simple stuff that brings a huge impact to both you and your partner, it’s centered around love, kindness, friendship, and consideration.

If you have any other tips that you found useful, drop a comment below. Our community loves to hear back from you!