Why Men Love Dirty Talk? Based On Science

Reading Time: 6 minutes

Talk dirty to me. This is something that you’ve probably been asked to do in your relationship, correct? No matter how you personally feel about dirty talk, you can’t deny that men love that. Well, it’s pretty fair to say that men love sex.

But they do not only enjoy sex, but they also love all the element associated with sex. One of them is dirty talk.

Dirty talk is the practice of using an explicit word to heighten sexual excitement before or during physical sexual activity. It’s commonly a part of foreplay. You could use dirty talk by whispered into your partner ears, spoken over the phone or put it into text.

“Keep going harder! Don’t stop..”

“Yeah..You like that baby?!”

As forced as it sounds when you read it, we all love to hear that in our bedroom. It feels like we got good feedback from our partner to push harder. I wonder if this a kind of motivation phrases? 😛

There is a lot of article out there that can teach you how to talk dirty to your man. But have you ever wondered why men love dirty talk so much? Is it compulsory to talk dirty to your man? Or you could just ignore this topic and hoped he didn’t ask again.

Before you made that decision, first you need to know why is dirty talk is so arousing to him. And you need to understand the psychology behind it.

It’s start with the brain.

The brain is considered a more powerful sexual organ than our genitalia because it’s where the sex drive steams from. That’s why all the sexual relationship guide out there will talk about sexual fantasies. Their main objective is to excite your mind.

That is the same function as dirty talk. Whether you whispered directly to his ear, talk through and even text messages, all of it will excite your man brain.

According to one study published in the journal Hormone Research. There is two area in the hypothalamus, the preoptic area (involved in a mating area) and the suprachiasmatic nucleus. Men preoptic area is over two times larger and contains two times more cells than women.

The hypothalamus is a small region of the brain. It’s located at the base of the brain near the pituitary gland. Event hypothalamus is very small, it’s plays a crucial role in many important functions including releasing hormones and managing of sexual behavior.

hypothalamusImage Credit: Lila Medical Media

Larger hypothalamus for men means more circulating testosterone to stimulate the desire of sex. Man brain is also responsible for determining both sex drive and sexual pleasure. This is why dirty talk can be so arousing to man.

Daryl Cioffi, specializing in couples, relationships, sex, neuropsychology, and owner of Polaris Counseling & Consulting in Pawtucket, R.I. also shares a good information Medical Daily.

He said that “People very much enjoy dirty talking because it activates all regions of your brain while your body is also getting stimulated. Similar areas of the brain are touched upon during dirty talk as when we curse. So, very often as your brain sees it, the dirtier the better.”

Your man brain plays the largest role in sexual pleasure. So if you want to please your man, start with his brain first. The main function of dirty talk is to turn him on and ignite the spark in his brain to dramatically enhance the experiences.

When you talk dirty to your man, it shows that you are 100% present and in the moment. It feels like you’re answering to his sexual desire. It proves beyond a shadow of a doubt that you’re enjoying yourself.

That level of engagement between you two validates that he’s pleasing you. Men’s are hard-wired in their brains to please a woman sexually. All of this reason activate different chemicals in his brain and are hitting some of the big triggers for his sex drive.

Communicate your sexual fantasies

One of the important aspects of a healthy sexual relationship is to communicate about your fantasies to each other. Ask your partner if he has his own fantasies that he may want to do it with you.

If you’re both comfortable with them, it is great to actually play out these fantasies for an exciting sexual experience.

According to the researchers from a 2012 study published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships found that the more comfortable you talking about sex, the more satisfactory your sex lives will become.

The research also stated people who communicate during sex were more likely to experience sexual satisfaction. Especially when you engage in dialogue that feels good with your partner, it can heighten the sexual experience.

Dirty talk can be very powerful if you know how to use them correctly. You can make your man to sexually obsessed with you without even touching him.

Lady in the streets, freak in the sheets

dirty talk for himWhen women display her ladylike persona in public but then can express herself with sexy dirty talks in bed, the contradiction gives a man a big charge of excitement. He knows that he is the only one who gets to see this naughty side of you.

He feels like he’s the chosen one. Seeing you transform from a “good girl” into a dirty little vixen for his eyes only really give him a thrill. This heightens all of his sense and makes everything much more arousing for him.

Men love dirty talk because they could see your reaction. Dirty talk rule of thumb is to tell him what you want before sex and tell him what you like during sexual contact. Basically, you just show him how much you love what he’s doing.

You need to take control of the word and use it on their own term. Your unbridled expressions of bliss tell him that he’s rocking your socks.

Your confidence slays him

As a man, I could say that a woman who can confidently use dirty talk to get what she wants in bed is damn sexy. Mostly men are drawn to women who aren’t afraid to express themselves sexually. So he doesn’t need to play guessing game on how to turn women on, dirty talk cuts right through all the gray and speak to him clearly.

You can turn him on by just showing how confident you’re in yourself and your sexuality. It’s definitely can makes his endorphins go wild. Endorphins are hormones that are released to make you feel good, emotionally.

Dirty talk isn’t for perverts, it gives you permission to surrender to your deepest and wildest fantasies. It’s about vocalizing your sexual wants, enhance your sex life to be more dirty, erotic and most of all FUN.

Three simple ways to ease into naughty talk

Of course, it’s not easy to start talking dirty to your partner if you were never done this before. You might not feel comfortable, confuse and afraid. Or maybe you’ve thought “I’m too shy to talk dirty!” or “I’m too old for this thing”.

Well if you’re already read this article, it’s never mean that you’re too late to learn about dirty talk.

1# Start by texting

Build up your confidence first. Try to send him a simple text message.

“I want to kiss you so badly right now.”

Or you can go with something like,

“What do you want me to do with you tonight?”

“Can I be a part of your favorite fantasy?”

These help you get to your point without being totally explicit. If this not enough you can check my other post, 100+ sexting examples to blow your man mind.

Sexting is the best way to start talking dirty to your partner.

2# Be naughty

When you’re having sex, describe aloud how much you enjoy what he’s doing.

Rule of thumb: Before sex, tell him what you want, during sex, tell him what you like.

Tell him how good it feels

Tell him you don’t want him to stop

Take a lead, give him direction on what to do next.

3# Take a deep breath and fly hard

Try getting into the character. Depending on what stage of your relationship, you will probably have a different level of comfort and ideas on how this thing works.

Start small, get into the role and just go with whatever sexy words may come out of your mouth.

My only advice is don’t go overboard or pretend to be someone else. Just be yourself and go with the flow.

This is just three simple step, if you want to go deep with dirty talk, you can check my other guide, how to talk dirty to your man for a beginner. It’s a long guide but I can promise that it worth your time to go through with all the step.

Overall being able to talk dirty to your man will make him feel more attracted to you. Dirty talk can be so arousing to man, so it’s kind of a waste if you don’t practice this skill.

It may not be so comfortable at the beginning, but as you go through the process, you can work on becoming more comfortable, letting loose and enjoying the dirty talk yourself!

sexting ideas

100+ Sexting Examples To Blow Your Man Mind

Reading Time: 8 minutes

Have you been flirting with someone and want to blow his mind even he is not in the same room with you? Or it could be that you’re in a long distance relationship, but you still want to keep your partner happy?

Well texting plays a big role in this modern romance. And there’s a lot of ways to enjoy the relationship even though you’re part away from each other. Through texting, you can heighten intimacy, being close to your partner, and multiply the sexual energy between both of you.

dirty text for him

Talking dirty is not an easy task to do for someone who’s not used to it but it’s important to keep your relationship fun and exciting. It’s my belief that it’s important for you to learn and try something new to keep your relationship interesting.

If you’re new to this kind of topic, you may need to check my other post, why do men love dirty talk. Basically, it’s all start with his brain. Man brain are responsible to determine sex drive and sexual pleasure. Main objective of dirty talk is to excite your mind.

Honestly, a simple text message can excite them, make him want you and blow his mind. He will be crazy for you, trust me! But don’t overuse this idea, read this list carefully and use it to your partner in a smart way. And don’t forget to bookmark this page for your future references.

  1. If I were with you right now, where would you want me to touch you?
  2. Guess what I’m thinking? It involves my tongue and …..you without pants.
  3. I’m just lying in bed bored. Do you has any idea better than sleeping?
  4. I’ve had so many dirty thoughts about you today. Wanna hear some of them?
  5. I really miss you between my leg.
  6. I love how naughty you are. Do you have any more surprise for me?
  7. I’ve had a long day today. And all I could think about today was your sexy body and what I want to do with it.
  8. I’m just lying in bed without my bra.
  9. People playing football on the field, then what should we play on the bed?
  10. What do you want me to do with you tonight?
  11. Have you ever fantasize about me sexually? Be honest and tell me…
  12. What’s your best sexual fantasy about me? Mind to share?
  13. How was your day? By the way just wanted to tell I am alone tonight.
  14. I didn’t know someone could turn me on so much as you do.
  15. What’s one thing that you want me to do to you? Anything…
  16. I want to kiss you so badly right now.
  17. Guess my bra color that I am wearing tonight?
  18. I will be your prisoner tonight.
  19. Let me be your slave tonight.
  20. Can I be a part of your favorite fantasy?
  21. I know what you want and I think I am ready.
  22. I really like your tie, let us use it tonight.
  23. My clothes are coming off the moment I am thinking about you.
  24. I want you to go deep inside me as hard as you can.
  25. Show me how bad you can be. I want to see how naughty you get.

Sexting example to send to your man.

It could be to your boyfriends or your husband. You can send him some sexy text message that will turn him on. It doesn’t need to be XXX to excite him, sometimes being less explicit can actually tease him more. You just need to play with his secret fantasies.

Sexting ideas for him

  1. I would love to put my tongue all over your sexy body right now.
  2. What you do if I was in your room right now?
  3. Don’t work to hard. I want you to have a plenty of energy for me tonight.
  4. If you can guess my underwear color, you can take them off.
  5. Tonight, let me do all the work. We’re going to take it slow and you’re going to scream.
  6. I want you to lie back and let me take care of you tonight.
  7. I am going to make you come so hard.
  8. I want you to tease me until I can’t take it any longer.
  9. You may look at it, but you cannot touch it, YET.
  10. How do you feel about whip cream? or Chocolate syrup?
  11. The thought of you gets me so horny…
  12. I’ve been lying on my bed naked, thinking about how you feel and what you gonna do.
  13. Nothing gets me wet, but the moment you touch me, I get wet inside…
  14. You’re not very good at pretending you don’t want me.
  15. Where do you want to touch me the most?
  16. I’m watching a sexy video of a guy who looks just like you.
  17. I’ve been a bad girl today, and I need someone to punish me tonight.
  18. It’s so hot to imagine that you’re tying me up.
  19. I keep getting this dream of you trying to undress me, are you really want to do that?
  20. I want to lick your ice cream so badly.
  21. My roommates are gone this weekend. We can be as loud as we want tonight, and I want to be loud.
  22. I’m touching myself right now, wish you were here to please me.
  23. Today is your birthday, want me to serve you tonight?
  24. If you want to serve me on my birthday, I really wish everyday is my birthday.
  25. Do you know how to turn me on?
  26. It doesn’t matter where I am. I’m yours tonight.
  27. I’m lying on my bed, waiting for you with my legs  open.
  28. I thought of something I want to do to you tonight.
  29. I can’t control myself when I am thinking about you.
  30. Did you want to choose on what should i wear tonight?

Bonus Content: Change from sexting to phone sex

If you’re already done a lot of sexting, you can try this method.

Get yourself turned on and aroused and ready to go for more.

The perfect time to do this is when you know he will answer the phone, and he’s alone.

When he picks up the phone, you can straight away get to business using this detailed in sexting examples.

Tell him that you need to hear his voice. And let him know that you’re so turned on and already touching yourself. Invite him to your sexual fantasies, describe how you wish he was there what you want him to do to you.

Ask him to wear a blindfold. Then you need to be detail with the situation, tell him that you will tied him up, use different items on his skin. As example, ice cube, a feather, or massage oil.

Create a story based on your sexual fantasies.

Ask him to follow whatever you say.

Taking control and telling him what he is going to do is very erotic. Make sure he response everything you ask.

You can ask him something like this:

1- Tell him to undress

2- Ask him to undress you

3- Inform him how you want he seduce you

4- Direct him to kiss, suck and nibble various body part

Instruct him the position or speed that you want.

Give him the feedback if you want him go harder, or don’t stop!

Tell him that he’s been a bad boy and this is the time to punish him.

Give him permission to orgasm.

This is so much of excitement. Especially for a long distance relationship, this is one of the ways to enjoy your relationship.

If you really enjoyed this, you must try the Language of Desire by Felicity Keith. It’s awesome program that focus on a ways to overcome your shyness, lack of confidence that you may to enhance your sexual life.

More sexting Idea to turn your man on

Sexting also been viewed as a prequel to foreplay. It’s like a foreplay before foreplay to turn your partner on. Do not go overboard with sexting because it may look weird and loss his magic. All you need is just a hint of sexual explicitness.

You just need a basic idea on how to sexting, then you can play around with this list and generate your own sexting style.

  1. What is your favorite fantasies of us in bed?
  2. Here’s a riddle for you. What is cute and nice and sometimes hard all over?
  3. I just got out of the shower. You should come over and help me get dirty again.
  4. Did you want to lick my mountain?
  5. What else will you do to me? Please tell me more.
  6. I miss feeling you inside me.
  7. Why I can’t take your wet kisses out of my mind?
  8. I can’t stop thinking about my lips touching all over your skin.
  9. Nobody home tonight, I don’t mind scream as loud as you want.
  10. Try wearing nothing below your waist tonight, my finger are getting anxious to feel you there.
  11. I have a dream with you last night, but it’s stopped half way leaving me horny and unsatisfied.
  12. I love to see your beautiful face while you feel the climax.
  13. You make me so slippery between my legs.
  14. Are you alone tonight? Because I am ready to play.
  15. Can you be my slave tonight?
  16. Sometimes I can’t help to touch myself when I think about you.
  17. Sucking on a blow pop right now and wishing it was you…
  18. I am going to sleep right now, and I will need a help taking my bikini off.
  19. If you got any problem please let me know. I am here for you, and I can give you a hand…and my mouth..
  20. Tonight I’m wearing easy-to-remove clothing.
  21. What’s the dirtiest thought you’ve ever had about me? I love to hear it right now.
  22. Can you make me scream tonight?
  23. I want to buried your face in between my legs.
  24. I can’t stop thinking about tasting you you in my mouth.
  25. I’m thinking about you… completely naked.

Use things that you like to fantasize about.

Sexting can bring a lot of sexual tension between couple. It’s create an atmosphere of sexual desire but there still exist physical boundaries. It’s look like you can feel it but you can’t touch it, YET. This is very tempting and men’s love this!

  1. I’m not wearing any bra, can i wear your hand tonight?
  2. I want you to sit back and relax while I lick that cute nice thing.
  3. I love how soft your balls are.
  4. It is so long and big, plus it’s really hurts when it goes deep in me, still I am desperate for it.
  5. Every time you make a visit in my dreams, I wake up wet in the morning.
  6. I am waiting for the day to be with you in the shower.
  7. I’ve been listening to some really naughty music and it immediately reminded me of you. Want to act out the lyrics with me tonight?
  8. Tell me what you think about when you masturbate, or should we do it together?
  9. You had no idea how much I want you inside me right now.
  10. I want you to tease me until I can’t take it any longer.
  11. Good morning. I dream of you being naughty with me. But when I woke up, i still feel horny and unsatisfied. What should I do?
  12. I love thinking about you spanking me and pulling my hair.
  13. You want me to ride you tonight?
  14. Did you love to hear me moan? Because that is what I’m gonna do right now.
  15. I love the way you slowly whisper into my ears when you bang me.
  16. It’s an amazing feeling I get when you bite my neck, squeeze my boobs, grab my waist, penetrate me deeply and treat me like a bitch.
  17. I want you to hold me tight in your arms and do whatever you want.
  18. Do you have any idea on how to please me without using your both hand?
  19. Stop thinking about me naked! Because I am right now.
  20. Just wanted to let you know that I find you very attractive and sexy…. and I just want to put my mouth on your mouth
  21. What is your one sexual fantasy you always wanted to try? I am ready to hear you out.
  22. How do you feel when I kiss your lips and neck with my hand inside your pants?
  23. I know what’s going in your dirty mind, guess what? I am ready to be part of it.
  24. I can’t believe how good it feels when you are inside me hmm…

Before you sexting, make sure your partner comfortable with this first. Ask his opinion first even though I am 99% sure that he will love it. When you’re sexting, use the words you and your partner typically use. Put any inside jokes or personal memories that both of you shared, to make it more interesting and fun.

If you don’t know where to start, simply start talking about your favorite sexual memories. Or you can refer to this guide, how to talk dirty to your man.

Sexting is the same as talking dirty. You need to try and practice. Read this list for a few times to get a basic idea and be creative!

12 Ways How To Spice Things Up In The Bedroom

Reading Time: 6 minutes

The longer you in a relationship, the more likely your sex life is going to suffer. There’s a lot of reason why your sex life is going down. You’ll have the baby, you life getting busy, you’re getting tired and etc. Sooner or later, it will affect your relationship.

When it comes to sex, even the most deeply committed couples will likely go through this situation, where intimacy happens rarely or not at all. Lack of physical closeness can put a significant strain to your relationship.

Worst case, it could lead to breakup and divorce. We know that build up a family is never going to be easy, sometime you’ll feel stressed and exhausted. That why both of you need to put an extra effort to manage the situation.

No matter what the situation or circumstances, you need to come up with a few simple ways to spice up your sex life. Here are some of the ideas that have worked for the other couples who is face the same problem. Feel free to adjust the idea that can fit with your own sensibilities and lifestyle.

1- Dressing up for him

Maybe some of you think that this is outdated and just won’t do the trick. Well, it’s true that this is just a simple trick, but it’s still WORK. Be creative! Don’t afraid to try something new, ask your partner, discuss with him about his preferences. Get a new idea.

It could be that you wear a sexy lingerie, a superhero costume, anime cosplay, sexy nurse cosplay and more. If you don’t want to wear any costume or any type of slutty clothes, you can wear something provocative.

Make it something that will make him look twice. Maybe a type of dress or skirt that can remind him of why he likes you so much. As an example, wear a skirt that’s a little shorter than usual. A top that show your curve, or anything that can highlights your good points.

2- Build Anticipation

Take a few step back and check, which area that you’re lacking. Sometime sex life can be dull and boring because there’s no accretion, no anticipation, no excitement before you have a sex with your partner. It’s look like it’s one of your essential routine for your married life.

You’re not waiting for it, and there’s nothing special about sex. So, why not you try something he’s not expecting coming from you. If you’re working, text your partner and let him know how much you missing him, use a language of desire techniques, tell him how horny you are and how much you want him now.

Tell him in detail, what you’re planning to do with him when you return home. You’ll not believe how excited your partner when he received a text like that. He will coming home sharp waiting for you!

3- Talk dirty and sexting

No matter how you personally feel about talking dirty, you need to accept that most of the men love dirty talk and sexting is a huge turn-on for men, any men.

Basically, men are not attracted to women who are afraid to express themselves sexually. So, you should confidently use dirty talk to get what you want in bed, and men love that. Dirty talk also can be used in a text message.

Let me give you examples that you can try it straight away. Take your phone and send a text message to your partner like this “I can’t stop thinking about the time on the beach (something similar to this). You didn’t know how bad i want you inside me right now” with emoticon. And see what his response.

4- Explore his fantasies (and yours!)

Everyone has their own sexual fantasies. The only problem is, they didn’t share their fantasies with their own partner. Maybe because they’re afraid or feel ashamed to their partner.

According to the sex researcher, Pepper Schwartz, PhD, a sociology professor at the University of Washington in Seattle, the most common men’s sexual fantasies are about their partner doing things they wouldn’t ordinarily do.

So there might be a certain fantasies that can make your partner turn on, as well as you. But you didn’t have a chance to experience it in real life. So explore it.

5- Tie his hand

Tying your partner hand to the bed, then tease him. It’s a no hand rule. Your partner can’t touch you for the entire session. You can take this chance to explore his body, use your hand, your lips, skin and breath to turn him on.

Change the role anytime you want. He would love to explore your body also. Both of you will have a great time.

6- Blind oral

blindfoldTo increase the excitement, combine this technique with point no. 5 above. While tying your partner hand to the bed, add blindfold before performing oral sex. Inhibiting your partner sight will make all their other sense in hyper-alert mode.

Plus, not knowing what you will do next will heighten the anticipation. This could be one of your partner sexual fantasies. So if you never done things like this before you need to try. It’s fun, and both of you will enjoy it.

7- Keep your clothes on

If you always making sex naked, maybe you need to try something new. You can just remove a key pieces of clothing, or unzip his fly instead of removing his pants, or push your underwear to the side instead of removing.

As long as you’re comfortable with, just try it. It may seem silly, but that kind of need-you-now urgency can make your session seriously hot. You also can combine this trick with point no. 1, dress up and keep the clothes on.

Add a role-play to act out your wildest fantasy, you could become a teacher, cowgirl or anything you love to be. There is no limit. As long as you and your partner enjoy it, this can provide hours of entertainment.

8- Learn new sex position

This is the easiest and one of the most effective ways to keep your sex life interesting. Normally people tend to stick to few position only when they’re making love. Because they know this is what makes their partner happy and they are also enjoy it.

But, even though you already have a few amazing trick, it’s never hurts to switch things up and try something new. Trying new position is a great way to get new experience that you might like. Plus, if your man not eager to try out new sex position, then you will be the one who takes action.

There’s no need to tell your man which position first that you would like to try. Instead, just take the position and help to guide your man. If you never take a lead in your bed before, maybe this is a good time to try out something new. Your man definitely gonna enjoy this!

Here a list of sex position that you should try. Thanks Women’s Health for the list.

9- Put sex on calendar

Planning for sex can bring your sex experiences to a different level, and it’s fun! You and your partner will have a feeling of waiting for the perfect moment to strike. So a lot of things can be prepared, such as go to salon, buy a new sexy dress and etc.

Don’t just choose a date and time, instead, make a more specific plans. As an example, choose a place, a room, even a sexual fantasy or role play that you might want to try. By setting the stage as best as you can beforehand, you definitely can achieve a better result.

10- Say goodbye to the bedroom

Explore new areas at your own home. Instead of waiting on the bed, you can shake things up by having sex in a different place. Start with your home, it could be at the living room, bathroom, kitchen area, store, garage or anywhere you think possible.

Or maybe there’s a nice clearing in your backyard, plus a small garden and fish pond. And you’ve always wanted to straddle your partner in the long chair in front of your fish pond. Make a plan (point no. 9), ask him to meet you outside and enjoy your fantasies.

11- Avoid sex routine

Avoid the same old bored sex routine. You need to do something new if you want to spice up your sex life. All the point explains above can be used for you to generate a new idea. Bored routine not only mess up your sex life, but it’s can effect your relationship.

So if you want to keep your sex life and relationship fun, and satisfying, you can follow the tips we share above. But I do recommend you to start with something simple, something that you can reach and apply as soon as you can, as an example, foreplay or dirty talk.

12- Jump in the shower

This simple step is just for add-on to the list. I believe many of you already done this. But if you already in relationship more than 2 years and you’ve stopped doing this. I think you need to reconsider this option.

This simple practice can give you a good result. Next time your man goes for shower, follow him in a minute later. You can make him happy by:

  • Scrub his body and wash his back.
  • You can give him BJ (He will ask you to shower together next time).
  • Anything possible, including S.E.X

As a conclusion, there’s a lot of thing that you can try to spice up your sex life, the only things that you need to remember is, ask for your partner consent before you try anything new. Good luck!