Narcissism, contrary to popular belief, is not something negative. We all have our narcissism and the right amount of it is fundamental to achieve our goals and objectives. It helps us to gain respect, good and adequate self-esteem. The problem is not narcissism, but the excess of the same. In this post, we’ll share 9 signs that will help you to know if you are dating a narcissist boyfriend or not.
What is narcissism?
Narcissism is the love the person has for himself. This love is necessary for the healthy development of people since it precedes love towards others as well. When a child is born, he can “love” only himself. However, gradually, he becomes aware of others. This makes him learn to love his parents and then, others.
So what do we mean when we talk about a narcissistic person?
Let’s take a look at some of the characteristics of a narcissist person.
1# Unnecessary Love towards Self
The narcissist usually loves himself above all things, He believes that his problems, experiences or opinions are more important than those of the rest. So, very often, you’ll notice that the doesn’t consider your opinion, or belittles what to do.
2# He always feels special
He believes that he doesn’t fit in the world he lives in. Other people are below him and his abilities, and he deserves to be surrounded by famous, beautiful, and intelligent people. That’s why, on many occasions, he belittles her partner’s abilities, making her ridiculous in both private and public, making her feel inferior and more.
3# Believes that he is the most beautiful person and deserves a special love
If you feel that the person you are dating always makes you feel how special he is, how handsome he is and you won’t be able to find out anyone like him. If you avoid doing so, he will become noticeably angry.
4# He will always blame others for his failure
The narcissist always believes that he has the right to reach as high as possible, however, expectations may clash with reality. If the expectations are not adjusted to the narcissist’s abilities and he encounters barriers or negatives in the goals he sets, he will be greatly angered. He will blame others for his failures. He will carry on insulting or belittling them by projecting their complex.
5# They are exploiters
As they think and feel they are above others, they believe that they have the right to use them as if they were objects. To meet their needs, desires, or to achieve their goals, they can use people even at the cost of their mental health. They can make the other believe that they “have” to do what they say because they are above, they are smarter, stronger or more important.
6# Do not support criticism
The narcissist will not let anyone tell him how he has to do things, alternative ways or correct them a mistake. He won’t even accept advice, because why do they need them if they already know everything? This can give birth to frustration, anger, and feelings of shame and guilt.
Who tries to give their point of view or help the narcissist, they only receive rejections or bad words and gestures. Remember that criticism makes them admit their vulnerability and damage their ego.
7# Empathy, the missing link
The narcissist lacks empathy…the language that does not dominate. To be focused on himself, on his desires and needs, he is not able to put himself in the place of the other, does not recognize the feelings and needs of others. He is also unable to experience what the other person can feel against his attacks.
8# Envy, very present in your life
As a narcissist, no matter how narcissistic the person is, sometimes reality can knock at his door. When the narcissist detects that another person, for example, his partner, is very valid and even obtains higher or more important goals than his own, the narcissist envies with all his strength.
He is likely to attack disparagingly or underestimate the achievements obtained by his partner /. On the other hand, the narcissistic person always thinks that others admire and envy him, therefore, when things do not go as he expects, he will always find a solution to this.
He will do this by resorting to the envy of the other (He will say like: It was so good that they had to kick me out because my classmates couldn’t stand it, that’s why they talked badly about me).
9# Respond with defensive attitudes
Narcissists in the background, have a much-damaged ego. So you have to protect and “swell.” Fearing that the bubble of superiority and perfection that they have created around their image will be damaged or broken, they tend to live defensively.
They are hypersensitive to the movements and comments of the other. If someone “misses him” with his actions, or does not boast him all the time, the narcissist can hate him with all his strength, creating a real fight in which his main objective will be to “attack” the other.
Hope this post helps! Now when you know all the indications of hyper narcissism, try your best to keep yourself away from the people of this category. If you find these signs in the person whom you are dating now, try to come out of the relationship for a healthier and peaceful life ahead!