How to be a better wife? After a few years of marriage, some of you might have this kind of thought. With your role as a wife and maybe as a mother, you are thinking about how to make them happy.
The good thing is, you are not alone. Every married woman looks forward to giving their best effort and commitment to their relationship. They want to be the best wife for their partner. Why? I believe, there are two main reasons why women want to be better wives to their husbands.
The first reason is that they believe that their partner deserves it. Let me give you an example:
If your husband is someone who is always taking care of you, loves you, respects you, and be with you when you need him, of course, you also want to give him your best effort. Deep inside your heart, you appreciate his commitment to your marriage and decided to do the same.
The other reason is, you want to be a better wife because you believe that it will changes and improve your marriage. And I also agree with that. I believe that when you put extra effort and commitment into your partner, they will also do the same.
When you tried to love them unconditionally, put extra effort to make them happy, taking care of them, sooner or later, they will keep doing the same. When both of you feel loved by your partner, it will indirectly improve your marriage.
Because in the end, both partners need to give their best effort to build a strong, loving, and lasting marriage. So in this article, I will sum up the main answers to the question of how to become a better wife and become the best partner to your husband.
1- Become his biggest supporter
No matter how tough a man is, he will always need your support, your encouragement, and your belief in him. He will not say it, but he wants you to become his biggest fan.
This concept is almost the same as what we have previously discussed before, in man’s hero instinct. Basically, your man wants to be a hero in your eyes. He wants you to look at him as a dependable, strong, and committed man.
As a good supporter, you can support him in whatever he’s doing. You can admire his spirit, ideas, creativity, determination, and drive. Having someone he loved beside him will boost his confidence and make him feel that he can do whatever he sets his mind to.
2- Be honest with your husband
Whenever you have something in mind, share it with your husband. Honestly, you can’t expect your husband to be your mind reader. If you always giving him hints that he can’t even understand, stop doing that.
Man is a simple creature, if you need something tell him what you need, if something bothered you, learn how to communicate with him. Don’t give him a hint or puzzles that he needs to solve on his own.
Be honest with your husband, tell him what is on your mind even though it would be hurtful, don’t polish the truth. Because men will respect a sincere conversation far more than your efforts to hide the truth.
3- Show respect to your husband, always
Men physically and emotionally could not connect to a woman who disrespects them. This statement has been backup by research and study, it concludes that a man wants to feel respected by his wife.
The best-selling author of Love and Respect, Dr. Emerson Eggerichs, writes in his book, “Husbands are made to be respected, want respect, and expect respect. Many wives fail to deliver. The result is that five out of ten marriages land in divorce court.”
Based on Dr. Emerson Eggerichs data, in his original sample of 400 males, they have been asked this question:
If you were forced to choose one of the following, which would you prefer to endure… to be left alone and unloved in the world, or to feel inadequate and disrespected by everyone?
As a result, 74 percent of them said that if they were forced to choose, they would prefer feeling alone and unloved rather than feeling disrespected and inadequate. Meanwhile, the same question has been asked on a female sample and the answer is different.
For women, they found that a comparable majority would rather feel disrespected and inadequate rather than alone and unloved. From this sample, we could say that women need love and men need respect. So if you want to be a better wife, learn how to respect your husband.
4- Give him some space and freedom
Once in a while, guys need to be guys. They usually won’t confess that they need time for themselves. Yet, understanding his needs would make him more comfortable.
This personal space and time can be about his personal hobby or let him go out with their buddies to watch their favorite football game. These simple things are so important in a marriage. As a person, we need to feel free to pursue our own interests, friendship, and time for self-care.
So both of you basically need this. If neither of you has your own space and freedom, it is good to have a discussion about it. Remember, the strongest marriages are those who have their own space and freedom to grow and expand.
This method can definitely help your relationship thrive.
5- Know when to be quiet
Men hate a woman who nags, and that is a fact. Learn how to read the situation first. As an example, your husband just got back from work, and maybe it’s a long day for him. So it is probably not the right time to hear you complaining about this and that.
Know when to hold your tongue will give you a lot of benefits. Less nagging will make your husband feel less attacked, less controlled, and feel more appreciated. From my own experience, I know this is not gonna be easy, but when I manage to do this, I notice that I get more respect from my husband.
Nagging, criticism or anything similar to it can bring damage to your relationship. So, avoiding habitual nagging is a great step towards being a better wife. It prevents you from being rude, protects you from sins, and makes you gentler.
It also helps you avoid hurting your husband and yourself.
6- Be their partner, not their mother
It is true that women are born with the amazing ability to nurture. They have the power to give life to this world and that nurturing instinct is always within them. But be careful, do not use this natural instinct in your romantic relationship.
Some of you might not realize that when you keep doing stuff for your husband, from cooking to laundry, and everything. Sooner or later, he will be used to this kind of treatment and start to overlooks so many things.
This is also part of the reason why women start nagging. Because they treat their husband like their child and expecting him to respond as one. This will make your husband lose interest in you and eventually it will damage your relationship.
You can get more explanation about this in this post: Feeling Unappreciated In Marriage.
7- Take care of yourself
This is the last and the most important thing that you should do. Being a good partner also means that you need to be good to yourself. Such as take care of your health, hygiene, getting enough sleep, eating healthy food, exercising, and take care of your appearance.
We all know, after years of marriage, with kids around us, we tend to neglect the duty to take care of ourselves. There might be days where we go out without a shower, forget to eat, sloppy appearances, and live in our sweats.
It feels like every day is a fight day. Sooner or later, it will lead to burnout. And burnout is not healthy for your relationship and your family. That is why you should not forget to take care of yourself. Remember, you are a person before you were “mom/wife.”
Another aspect of self-care is to do things that make you happy. Find time to go out with your friends, engage in activities that you love, and do something fun. The rule of thumb is very simple, happy wife, happy life!
Be The Best Version of You
It is undeniable that married people need to keep their partner as their main priority. Once you start to treat your partner as your main priority, they will slowly be aware of your effort and might even start to do the same.
After all, marriage is not a one-person job. Both of you need to work together, support each other, and appreciate one another. Sometimes a hard storm will creep up on you, but you need to keep going, cause you know the rainbow will emerge.
A couple that prays together stays together. I hope this simple advice can give benefit your relationship and your marriage. If you got any tips on how to be a better wife, please leave your comment below, I would love to hear them. Wish you all a good day ahead!