How to start dating again? Getting back into the dating game after a long break up can be quite scary. The scar or the pain from your previous breakup might affect you mentally and emotionally. And that could be the main reasons that prevent you from starting over again.
It is either you are protecting yourself from going through the same pain or you are not confident enough to start all over again. There are so many reasons that will prevent you from start dating someone again.
But the truth is, you need to move forward. You cannot linger around with previous bad relationship experiences. Tidy up all the things that would recall your memories with your ex and start a new chapter of your life.
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So in today’s post, we will share with you some tips and guidance for you to learn how to start dating again after a long break up.
1# Re-Evaluate Yourself
Before you start getting into the dating game, it is important for you to look back at your past relationship. Objectively evaluate your mistakes, needs, and preferences. You can start doing this by asking yourself a few questions.
- Did you fight with your partner a lot? Why?
- Are you being selfish in your relationship?
- What did you really want in your relationship?
- What did you like most (overall) from your previous relationship?
- How did each of you play a role?
- Did you take things for granted?
- What did your past relationship teach you?
You should start using your past to shape your future, not repeating the same mistake over and over again. By doing this, you will get a better understanding of what you really want in a relationship and help you to be more prepared for your next relationship.
2# Create Your Check List
If you have never done this before, it is time for you to try it on your own. Create your own checklist before you start seeing someone else. The main reason is to know what type of person you wanted and what type of person you should avoid.
Your list can be detailed, but avoid making lists that are too detailed and full of negative traits/words. As an example, “I don’t like an overweight man,” or “I don’t like a man with a bad temper.”
Instead of making a list that is full of negative words, change it to something like this:
“I like someone who is healthy and loves to exercise.”
“I like someone who is happy and cheerful.”
This list uses totally different words but carries the same meaning as the previous one. It is focused on the positive side instead of the negative one. Remember the law of attraction? If you write and thought about negative things, you will attract negative experiences into your life.
That is why my advice is for you to focus on the positive side of the person that you want to date. Try to make this as simple as you can and just give it a try.
3# Be Positive And Move Forward
Keep your emotions in check and have a positive mindset before you get back into a new relationship. Think of it as a chain reaction, a positive mindset leads to positive behavior, and positive behavior will attract another positive partner.
Do not start a new relationship for the sake of showing your ex that you already move forward. If you have that kind of mindset, believe me, you still not move on from your past relationship. In order to move forward, you need to professionally close the previous chapter and start fresh.
Take all the necessary steps to get over your ex. Just go out with your friend, spend time with your family, go travel, or focus your mind and energy on your carrier. Try to spend more of your time to be a better version of yourself.
You need to be at your best before you start another relationship. Change all the unhealthy dating patterns and learn to adjust your relationship priorities. Try to see relationships from a different angle or perspective.
4# Stop Comparing Your Future Prospect
Finding the right partner takes time. Things could not always be right as of how we expect them to be, the same goes with our relationship life. You will not find the perfect partner, but you and your partner can be the perfect couple, complement each other.
The biggest hitch among a couple is comparing the people they’re seeing to their ex. This is the main “don’t” that should be followed by all. Remember, different relationships teach us different things, they help us learn about love and what we deserve.
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If you don’t overcome this problem, you will end up holding yourself back from getting to know this potentially awesome new guy! Let the past be the past and learn to appreciate the difference.
This is when your checklist from step no. 2 comes to help. It will help you to stay focus on the positive side of your potential partner. Who knows, maybe that differences will make your relationship more successful and hold longer.
5# Change Your Appearance
Some of us really love the quotes “This is who I am,” or “I’m just being myself.” Well, this is good, nobody asks you to be someone else in your dating phase. But, are you really not interested in trying to be a better version of yourself?
After being single for some time, maybe you need a little change in your appearance. Use your personal time to pampering yourself. Go hit the gym, start a healthy diet, develop a new beauty routine, take care of your hygiene, and buy yourself some new clothes.
If you never had a chance to get a new style of a haircut before, now is the right time to that. Spend some time looking through magazines and bring the hairstylist picture of what you like. Don’t be afraid to try a new hairstyle.
A new appearance will improve your confidence and will make you 100% ready to take on any new potential partner.
Read Next: How to tell if an Ex-boyfriend wants you back.
Dating is not a relationship competition, it is a process. It takes your time and hard work to successfully finding the right person. You should just enjoy the process rather than trying to rush it. Good luck in your journey and please let me know what you think in the comment section down below.