Entering a new relationship is a big deal. Especially if you have a past relationship that continually failed. Dating is crucial because it’s the first stage for a successful relationship. So if you’re having thought to start a new relationship, it might be best to reflect on your dating habit first.
It’s good to take a few steps back and evaluate your own self before you start developing feelings. Ask yourself these eight question to see if you really should continue to develop a serious relationship with your prospective partner.
1- Are you ready?
Relationship is a commitment, it’s required your time and your energy. You need to make sure your current lifestyle is ready for that commitment. If you still in the middle of building a career, pursuing your dream or solving your family problem, it might be best not to throw another human being into the mix.
I’m not saying that you couldn’t start dating because of the reason I stated above, but it’s good to wait until the storm has passed before you start inviting another crew member into your ship.
There are a few other things that you can prepare (your own-self, mindset, appearance) before you start dating. You can read it here on my other article, how to start dating – 5 proven method for success.
2- Do you love yourself?
Learn to love yourself before you can healthily love another person. You can love yourself by taking care of your health, maintaining a good diet, going to the gym for exercise, take care of your appearance and etc. If you want a good partner, you need to be good to yourself.
Did you know that your partner is a reflection of yourself? If you just live your life without any restriction or disciplined, then you will only match with people at the same level. I’m not trying to judge, but I’m just being realistic.
3- Do you have a vision for your life?
This is quite related to point no.2, you need to have a clear vision for your future. It refers to your personal character growth and dream. What type of person did you want to be? How did you want to live your life? What your dreams? How to achieve your dreams?
You need to answer all of this question to have a better understanding of what you want in your life. This is your vision, and it will definitely affect your relationship. Configure any certain things that important to you, such as where do you want to live or how many children you want? This can make dating easier because you already know what kind of partner that can live with you.
4- What are you looking for?
Seat back and reflect on what is your personal goal that you’re looking for in this upcoming relationship. Are you interested to start a serious relationship or just want a happy ending relationship? Deciding what you really want before you start dating someone is absolutely essential so you can ensure that both of you are on the same page.
As an example, if you want to get married in the near future, you can’t start dating with someone who has different objective from you. If not, your relationship won’t work well. You can’t expect your future partner to agree with all your decision or planning.
5- Do you have time to commit to a relationship?
Ask yourself how busy are you before you decide to start dating. If you’re a type of person who works until late at night, even on the weekend, then you need to check back your schedule first. Which one is important and which one is not?
And if you’re in the middle of pursuing your dream, and working longer hour per day is necessary, then I personally think that you need to hold your intention to start dating.
Building a new relationship takes time and effort, don’t be someone who says yes at everything when you start dating, then you leave your future partner hanging because of your hectic schedule. Again (back to point no. 4) knowing what you’re looking for ahead of time is essentially important.
6- Do they take care of themselves?
It’s not about hygiene (part of it is yes), but I’m talking about overall. How they live their life? Did they take care of their health? Exercising their body? Conscious of their diet? Feeding their brain? Or take care of their mental health?
Because later on, all of this will directly affect your life, you will spend most of your life with them as a partner. So it’s important for you to know about this. I’m not suggesting you be a picky person, nobody is perfect, it’s just good to be prepared.
Someone who doesn’t take care of themselves, probably don’t love his own selves. And if they don’t love themselves, they absolutely can’t love you in a healthy and fulfilling way.
7- Do they get along with your friends and family?
Some of you might think that this point is not really important. Who’s care whether your partner gets along with your friends/families or not? As long as your partner is good for you, right? Honestly, I’m not 100% agree with that.
Basically your close friends and family members approval usually weighs heavily on the outcome of the relationship. When you have a relationship with someone, you’ll automatically have a relationship with their families. We all want our partner to be nice to the people we love.
8- Do they fit in with the picture you have for your future?
What the point of dating if you don’t see some sort of future with them, right? If you just dating for fun, you’ll not read this kind of article. The reason why you read this article is because you take dating seriously. You want to plan your future, and maybe you don’t want to repeat the same mistake.
So if you and your partner doesn’t have a lot in common, have a very different belief system, and you just don’t happy with your upcoming relationship, you better call it quits. Don’t blame yourself or your partner, it’s just you both has a completely different life plan.
As a conclusion, being honest and open with yourself about your dating goals is absolutely essential if you’re planning to start a new relationship. Save your time and your prospective partner time by asking yourself this question before you decide to start a new relationship. Or maybe you can read my other article on how to start dating.
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