“Should I break up with my boyfriend?” Well, if you had this kind of question playing around in your head, then there’s must be something wrong with your relationship. The actual reasons why you start thinking that way might be varied, but the root cause usually will be similar.
Sometimes you don’t need to have a good reason to break up, you just know that it’s the time. But other times you’re not so sure, you are basically at the crossroads. Trying to decide, which way that you should go.
Deciding to break up with your partner is not an easy task. You might be wondering whether you’re making the right decision or not. And obviously, you didn’t want to do something that will make you feel regret.
When this happens to you, my first advice is don’t rush to make a decision. Stay calm and keep everything in your control. Being too negative or start blaming others will only make things worse.
So today’s article, I will share some information that I feel important to answer your question of whether you should break up with your boyfriend or not.
What Are The Signs When A Relationship Is Over
Having conflict or disagreement with your partner is normal, it is part of a relationship. As a normal human being, there’s no way we could be on the same page with someone else all the time. So it’s OK if you and your partner are slightly out of sync.
However, if things are out of control, and it keeps happens all the time, then you need to consider your current relationship situation. Fighting all the time in a relationship is not healthy, it can drain your energy physically and mentally.
For those who’re still questioning things, pay attention to these kinds of bad signs.
1# You’re Simply Not Happy
Life is too short. You deserve to feel happy, you deserve someone who is good to you, treats you well and loves you. If you are with someone who’s doesn’t appreciate you, lift you up and make you feel beautiful, then you might be dating the wrong person.
But be careful, sometimes you might feel that your partner is the reason why you’re not happy. But after you break up with him, you still unhappy. So before you make a decision, you need to find the real reasons why you’re unhappy. Is it because of your partner? Or you’re actually unhappy because you’re too stressed with your work?
To avoid the mistake, taking a break in a relationship could be a good idea. If you found out that you’re happier without him by your side. Then it’s time to pull the plug and move forward with your life.
2# He Doesn’t Appreciate You
Did he always put his needs before yours? Did he ignore your thought and your feeling? If yes then he not really care about you. When he no longer appreciates you as his partner, it’s a clear sign that your relationship is over.
This always happens when your partner is taking you for granted. You can see the signs when he stops seeing the things you do as wonderful and treats it as a daily routine. I know this is heartbreaking, it makes you feel like nothing you do is good enough for him.
This is toxic in a relationship. As a good partner, he needs to make you feel appreciated. And if he doesn’t, maybe it’s time for you to do yourself a favor and walk away.
3# You’ve Been Fighting More Than Usual
In accordance with what I said above, every couple argues, and it’s quite normal. Argument (in the right way) can help you express your opinion on the issues and solved the problem.
However, it is not normal if you both can’t seem to agree on anything. Whatever you or your partner do will end up with an argument. It could be worse if your argument is used in a way to insult your partner.
According to Dr. Mariana Bockarova, Ph.D., who teaches “The Psychology of Relationships” at the University of Toronto, “If you feel isolated and alone after an argument, or if you criticize each other harshly, show contempt for one another, become defensive, or shut down, I would reassess whether this relationship is right for you,”.
She also said, “When we feel our basic sense of respect as a human being is being eroded, fully recovering and restoring a healthy loving relationship can be nearly impossible to do.”
So pay close attention to how you fight with your partner and decide it for yourself.
4# Your Trust Has Been Broken
Having someone you love breaks your trust is a painful and inevitable fact of a relationship. It could come in many forms, such as cheating, disloyalty, and dishonest. But depending on the circumstances, it doesn’t necessarily the end of the relationship.
As an example, he lies to you about getting to sleep early but then he goes out to meet his buddies. Yes, he lies to you, but he must have his own reason. Maybe your partner lies to you for the sake of saving hurt feelings, then those really aren’t a big deal.
Instead, pay attention to any lie that directly hurts you. As an example, your partner said that he’s been busy with his work lately, but you get to know that he’s actually hanging out and sleep with another woman. Curse him!
You deserve a man who is faithful to you and loves you. The one who appreciates you and makes you happy. Don’t waste your time on someone who’s not worth it.
5# He Had No Respect For You
If your boyfriends are acting disrespect, whether to you, to your friends, to your family, to bartenders, to a barista, or to whoever he wanted, you should get out of that relationship. Because, when your boyfriend doesn’t treat people the way he expects to treat, it’s really a bad sign for your future.
Respect is a very important component in a relationship, even love should not be the reason to tolerate disrespect.
In my opinion, all toxic relationships include signs of disrespect. It works like a poison, and slowly kill your relationship. Sometimes, we are so used to this little amount of poison, that why we don’t notice it anymore until it’s killing us.
So ladies please take note, if you found out any signs of disrespect in your relationship, pull the plug and move forward. There’s always someone better waiting for you outside. If you want more info regarding this topic, I suggest you check out my other article on 7 signs of a bad relationship.
When It’s Time To Break Up?
Basically, there’s no specific answer or specific “time” to break up. It’s all about your decision, are you ready to let him go or not? You need to answer this question yourself.
Because we know, letting go of someone we love is not as easy as we think. Our mind already makes that decision, but emotionally it’s still hurt inside. We are not sure about our decision, we feel confused and complicated.
There’s fear of that decision. We are afraid when we let our partner go, we could not get someone’s better. We’re afraid that our age is not suitable for a new relationship. We’re afraid that we are not good enough for someone else. A lot of things keep pop up in our minds.
For me, this is something that everyone needs to go through to become a better person. Put aside all the negative thinking and fear. You need to fight for your own happiness, make a decision for yourself, not because for the sake of saving hurt feelings.
Here the fact that sciences could give you hints on your decision making. It’s called the ratio of the positive and negative experiences to predict how successful your relationship is going to be. Based on the research, you need to make sure there is more positivity than negativity overall to create a happy relationship.
So list out all your positive interactions VS negative interactions. Do the maths, it might help in your decision making.
How Do I Break Up With My Boyfriend
This is not a step-by-step guide on how to break up with your partner. Because I don’t think it’s a good idea to follow any break-up guide that you found on the internet and practice it with your real life.
Breakups are supposed to be highly personal and there are no specific ways to “breakups”. The least you can do is collect the information that you found useful, and use it when you think it necessary.
I’ve already written a long article regarding this topic that you can read here; Helpful tips – how to end a relationship. And if you don’t want to read the full article, here are the summaries:
Be clear about your decision: This is important, don’t make a decision and then feel regret about it a few weeks later. If you feel like you can still save the relationship, talk to your partner about your concern. It will be much better rather than simply put an end to your relationship.
Be prepared: Build up your courage to talk to your partner. Prepare in advance of what you’ll say to your partner. Be detail with your point and why you think it’s a good idea to end a relationship. Be open and discuss directly with your partner, maybe he also has some points that need to be put into consideration.
Depending on the situation, if you think it’s not safe to talk with him alone bring someone else to accompany you, maybe your brother or your friends. If he is a psycho, don’t bother to meet him, just get rid of him instantly.
Be respectful and honest: Don’t make excuses, be honest with your point. you never know what’s going to happen in the future. Who’s know you may end up together with your partner again. Don’t try to insult or attack your partner.
Be honest, kind and respectful as you begin to let your partner go. But, no need to go in detail with his weakness. Always start your statement with the word “I” instead of “You”. As an example:
“I think we have a different way of viewing our future“.
This is a nicer way to express your feeling. You also can keep your partner calm with this kind of discussion.
Pick the right time and place: Choose the right time and place so you can discuss peacefully with privacy. Do consider your partner situation, don’t simply ask for a breakup when your partner is in the middle of something big in his life. As an example, he’s been preparing for an important exam, or he’s in the middle of an important meeting.
Instead, pick a good time for both of you. Friday night is a good example, it gives both of you the whole weekend to somewhat recover from a breakup. Because when you break up, there will be a period of heartbreak, sadness, and pain.
On The Final Note
Letting go of someone we love is hurt and painful. But, it could be the best decision you make in your life, for a better future. I can’t force you to break up, neither ask you to stay with your partner. All I can do for you is to share a little bit of information in order to help you to make a good decision, for your own happiness.
I hope this article was helpful to you in any way. Please let me know your comments and reactions regarding this article in the comment section below. We wish you a good day ahead.