Everyone wants a healthy and happy relationship that lasts long. But in order to maintain a healthy relationship, both of you must require a remarkable amount of focus and effort. Do not take things for granted, tolerate, supports each other, show gratitude are the most important keys for a happy relationship.
But at some point, we all get involved in serious challenges in the relationship. After that, we realized that things start to changes. Our partner suddenly became a different person. We will feel like, “he was not like this when I first know him”, right? The fact is, he also start thinking the same about you.
That’s how the journey of an unhappy relationship start. The sad truth is, there’s a lot of couples out there who stays together even though they are unhappy. They stay in that relationship may be because of their kid’s sake, life commitment, compassion, loyalty, patience, and many other reasons.
What are the signs of a bad relationship?
So maybe you need to ask yourselves, have you ever been feeling stuck in your relationship? Are things not moving fast enough? If you not sure, here the 7 signs that you’re not happy in your relationship. Hope it can help you clarify the problem that has been bothering you and help you figure out what course of action best serve you from here.
1- You avoid spending time with your partner.
Avoidance is a sure sign that there is trouble in your relationship. A relationship requires work, time and energy to make it work. So if you feel bored, uninterested, or not enjoying time spent with your partner, it could mean that you’re not happy with your partner.
But do not confuse this. If you’re having a good time with your friends or finally have a moment for yourselves after your busy day and ignore all the incoming text or phone call, don’t worry. You’re allowed to have your “me” time for yourselves.
What I mean by avoidance is when you feel flinch with the idea of watching a movie together or have dinner together. If this happens, it’s time to start re-evaluating things.
2- You rarely initiate sex these days.
Do you believe that sex is a good barometer to judge the state of your relationship? For me, it depends on the situation. Let’s say you just have the baby within your small family, don’t expect to have sex as many as you have before the child was born.
But if you rarely initiate sex, without any specific reason, you just feel don’t like it or bored, then you might be struggling with the relationship. Sexual connection is necessary to your wellbeing and the intimacy you need in your relationship.
Frankly speaking, we generally don’t want to have sex with someone when we don’t feel some sense of joy or pleasure with that person. So ask yourselves a question, are you really not sexually attracted to your partner anymore.
3- You are feeling insecure
When you start dating someone, it will take some time for you to figure out whether you fit their world or not. You probably make some effort to know more about their work, their family and close friends. You want to be one of their important things in their lives.
However, when your relationship starts to crumble, you’ll start to see the sign of insecurities. The main problem with insecurities in a relationship is that it start o affect both you and your partner.
Nowadays, with the presence of the internet, smartphone, and social media, insecurities run wild in a relationship. As an example, it’s could be that you’re always want to check up on your partner phone. You want to know who they’ve been texting, direct messaging, or call.
If you’re constantly self-doubt about your relationship, perhaps this isn’t the relationship that you should be in. However, if the feeling of insecurities is just based on your imagination, it’s time to correct it as soon as possible.
4- You start looking at other people as a potential partner.
There’s always a man walking around you, and the problem is they start to get your attention. Have you ever thought something like this:
“will it be better if I married to this kind of man”
“why I didn’t meet someone like this before”
“I wish my partner can be like him”
When you start comparing your partner with the other men, the game has already changed. Later you’ll start to wish your partner to be more like your friend’s husband, or you find yourselves fully attracted to a specific man.
This will not happen if you’re really happy in your marriage or relationship. Because you don’t feel the need to look somewhere else, and in fact, you don’t really even think about it.
5- You don’t have much to talk to your partner.
It will awkward if you going to dinner with your partner sitting in complete silence and uncomfortably staring at your dinner plate. If you and your partner regularly find yourselves in this uneasy situation, you should discuss whether you should stay together or not.
Because communication is the cornerstone of a happy relationship. When we care about someone, we will make an effort to listen to what they want to say. If you have any resentment, you must talk it out rather than let the resentment grow. Discuss it with your partner and be open so they can be worked out.
If you still arguing about almost everything, even after you’ve tried to work on this problem, consider talking to a couples counselor. Involving the third party in your relationship sometimes can be very helpful. I hate to tell you this, but if you don’t think the relationship is worth that kind of commitment, it might be time to throw in the towel.
6- You’ve stopped trying to impress them.
When you first meet with your partner, you really put your best effort to impress them. It could be that you wear your most flattering outfits, go to the saloon to make your hair, and even arrived 1 hour earlier waiting for him. This is a normal part of the courtship process in an early relationship.
Then, there will come a day when they have to see you in your homey pajamas with messy hair, or maybe it’s even worse than that. You’ll also start to see the other side of your partner. This is real life if you’re going to have a reality-based relationship.
Even after you’ve become more comfortable with your partner, you still want to take care of your appearance right? Because physical appearance plays a vital part in your relationship life. If this element of trying to impress your partner suddenly disappears, you might have a problem.
Simply said, if you don’t have a need to impress them, you need to question yourselves your own level of interest and commitment that you willing to give to your partner.
7- You’ve been cheating.
In a relationship, everyone does not like being deceived, same goes to you and your partner. Once you’ve been decided to be in a serious relationship, you need to create strong boundaries with any third party that can cause a problem down the line. Right?
This could involve ending a friendship and limiting contact with a certain type of people, that is worth to protect your relationship. This is a normal situation in a normal relationship.
But, if you start exchanging sexually suggestive text, or sharing personal details about your relationship with someone that you’ve been flirt with, you actually have been cheating.
Obviously, I don’t have the right to judge you, but you can ask this within yourselves. If this behavior make you feel guilty? Or did you didn’t want your partner find out about this?
Be honest with yourselves, have you been cheating? I assume you’ve already known the answer.
Take action or move on
If you discover that you’re unhappy with your relationship, you can still make a change. Because it’s not easy to choose to break up if you’re a married couple, there’s a lot of things you need to consider before you make a decision.
So what you need to do is, try to list out which area you’re lacking and focus to improve those areas. Ask your partner to take part in this improvement. Try to give your best shot. If you’ve already made an improvement and still unhappy, give yourselves permission to end a relationship with your partner.
Your marriage is the place you live most of the time, so it should be a happy place, not a prison. Take responsibility for your own happiness. You only live once, you deserve and worthy of happiness.
What your opinion about the list? Leave your comment below, we love to hear your feedback.
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