Posts

Should I break up with my boyfriend

Should I Break Up With My Boyfriend? Here Is My Answer

Reading Time: 8 minutes

Should I break up with my boyfriend?” Well, if you had this kind of question playing around in your head, then there’s must be something wrong with your relationship. The actual reasons why you start thinking that way might be varied, but the root cause usually will be similar.

Should I break up with my boyfriend

Sometimes you don’t need to have a good reason to break up, you just know that it’s the time. But other times you’re not so sure, you are basically at the crossroads. Trying to decide, which way that you should go.

Deciding to break up with your partner is not an easy task. You might be wondering whether you’re making the right decision or not. And obviously, you didn’t want to do something that will make you feel regret (And if you do feel regret about your breakup, check my article: The Ex Factor Guide Review. This article might help you).

When this happens to you, my first advice is don’t rush to make a decision. Stay calm and keep everything in your control. Being too negative or start blaming others will only make things worse.

So today’s article, I will share some information that I feel important to answer your question whether you should break up with your boyfriend or not.

What Are The Signs When A Relationship Is Over

Having conflict or disagreement with your partner is normal, it is part of a relationship. As a normal human being, there’s no way we could be on the same page with someone else all the time. So it’s OK if you and your partner are slightly out of sync.

However, if things are out of control, and it keeps happens all the time, then you need to consider your current relationship situation. Fighting all the time in a relationship is not healthy, it can drain your energy physically and mentally.

For those who’re still questioning things, pay attention to these kinds of bad signs.

1# You’re Simply Not Happy

Life is too short. You deserve to feel happy, you deserve someone who is good to you, treats you well and loves you. If you are with someone who’s doesn’t appreciate you, lift you up and make you feel beautiful, then you might be dating the wrong person.

But be careful, sometimes you might feel that your partner is the reason why you’re not happy. But after you break up with him, you still unhappy. So before you make a decision, you need to find the real reasons why you’re unhappy. Is it because of your partner? Or you’re actually unhappy because you’re too stressed with your work?

To avoid the mistake, taking a break in a relationship could be a good idea. If you found out that you’re happier without him by your side. Then it’s time to pull the plug and move forward with your life.

2# He Doesn’t Appreciate You

Did he always put his needs before yours? Did he ignore your thought and your feeling? If yes then he not really care about you. When he no longer appreciates you as his partner, it’s a clear sign that your relationship is over.

This always happens when your partner is taking you for granted. You can see the signs when he stops seeing the things you do as wonderful and treats it as a daily routine. I know this is heartbreaking, it makes you feel like nothing you do is good enough for him.

This is toxic in a relationship. As a good partner, he needs to make you feel appreciated. And if he doesn’t, maybe it’s time for you to do yourself a favor and walk away.

3# You’ve Been Fighting More Than Usual

In accordance with what I said above, every couple argues, and it’s quite normal. Argument (in the right way) can help you express your opinion on the issues and solved the problem.

However, it is not normal if you both can’t seem to agree on anything. Whatever you or your partner do will end up with an argument. It could be worse if your argument is used in a way to insult your partner.

According to Dr. Mariana Bockarova, Ph.D., who teaches “The Psychology of Relationships” at the University of Toronto, “If you feel isolated and alone after an argument, or if you criticize each other harshly, show contempt for one another, become defensive, or shut down, I would reassess whether this relationship is right for you,”.

She also said, “When we feel our basic sense of respect as a human being is being eroded, fully recovering and restoring a healthy loving relationship can be nearly impossible to do.”

So pay close attention to how you fight with your partner and decide it for yourself.

4# Your Trust Has Been Broken

Having someone you love breaks your trust is a painful and inevitable fact of a relationship. It could come in many forms, such as cheating, disloyalty, and dishonest. But depending on the circumstances, it doesn’t necessarily the end of the relationship.

what to do when he pulls away

As an example, he lies to you about getting to sleep early but then he goes out to meet his buddies. Yes, he lies to you, but he must have his own reason. Maybe your partner lies to you for the sake of saving hurt feelings, then those really aren’t a big deal.

Instead, pay attention to any lie that directly hurts you. As an example, your partner said that he’s been busy with his work lately, but you get to know that he’s actually hanging out and sleep with another woman. Curse him!

You deserve a man who is faithful to you and loves you. The one who appreciates you and makes you happy. Don’t waste your time on someone who’s not worth it.

5# He Had No Respect For You

If your boyfriends are acting disrespect, whether to you, to your friends, to your family, to bartenders, to a barista, or to whoever he wanted, you should get out of that relationship. Because, when your boyfriend doesn’t treat people the way he expects to treat, it’s really a bad sign for your future.

Respect is a very important component in a relationship, even love should not be the reason to tolerate disrespect.

In my opinion, all toxic relationships include signs of disrespect. It works like a poison, and slowly kill your relationship. Sometimes, we are so used with this little amount of poison, that why we don’t notice it anymore until it’s killing us.

So ladies please take note, if you found out any signs of disrespect in your relationship, pull the plug and move forward. There’s always someone better waiting for you outside. If you want more info regarding this topic, I suggest you check out my other article on 7 signs of a bad relationship.

When It’s Time To Break Up?

Basically, there’s no specific answer or specific “time” to break up. It’s all about your decision, are you ready to let him go or not? You need to answer this question yourself.

Because we know, letting go of someone we love is not as easy as we think. Our mind already makes that decision, but emotionally it’s still hurt inside. We are not sure about our decision, we feel confused and complicated.

Time To Let Go Of Someone

There’s fear on that decision. We are afraid when we let our partner go, we could not get someone’s better. We’re afraid that our age is not suitable for a new relationship. We’re afraid that we are not good enough for someone else. A lot of things keep pop up in our minds.

For me, this is something that everyone needs to go through to become a better person. Put aside all the negative thinking and fear. You need to fight for your own happiness, make a decision for yourself, not because for the sake of saving hurt feelings.

Here the fact that sciences could give you hints on your decision making. It’s called the ratio of the positive and negative experiences to predict how successful your relationship is going to be. Based on the research, you need to make sure there is more positivity than negativity overall to create a happy relationship.

positive-to-negative-experience

So list out all your positive interactions VS negative interactions. Do the maths, it might help in your decision making.

How Do I Break Up With My Boyfriend

This is not a step-by-step guide on how to break up with your partner. Because I don’t think it’s a good idea to follow any break-up guide that you found on the internet and practice it with your real life.

Breakups are supposed to be highly personal and there are no specific ways to “breakups”. The least you can do is collect the information that you found useful, and use it when you think it necessary.

I’ve already written a long article regarding this topic that you can read here; Helpful tips – how to end a relationship. And if you don’t want to read the full article, here are the summaries:

Be clear about your decision: This is important, don’t make a decision and then feel regret about it a few weeks later. If you feel like you can still save the relationship, talk to your partner about your concern. It will be much better rather than simply put an end to your relationship.

Be prepared: Build up your courage to talk to your partner. Prepare in advance of what you’ll say to your partner. Be detail with your point and why you think it’s a good idea to end a relationship. Be open and discuss directly with your partner, maybe he also has some points that need to be put into consideration.

Depending on the situation, if you think it’s not safe to talk with him alone bring someone else to accompany you, maybe your brother or your friends. If he is a psycho, don’t bother to meet him, just get rid of him instantly.

Be respectful and honest: Don’t make excuses, be honest with your point. you never know what’s going to happen in the future. Who’s know you may end up together with your partner again. Don’t try to insult or attack your partner.

Be honest, kind and respectful as you begin to let your partner go. But, no need to go in detail with his weakness. Always start your statement with the word “I” instead of “You”. As an example:

I think we have a different way of viewing our future“.

This is a nicer way to express your feeling. You also can keep your partner calm with this kind of discussion.

Pick the right time and place: Choose the right time and place so you can discuss peacefully with privacy. Do consider your partner situation, don’t simply ask for a breakup when your partner is in the middle of something big in his life. As an example, he’s been preparing for an important exam, or he’s in the middle of an important meeting.

Instead, pick a good time for both of you. Friday night is a good example, it gives both of you the whole weekend to somewhat recover from a breakup. Because when you break up, there will be a period of heartbreak, sadness, and pain.

On The Final Note

Letting go of someone we love is hurt and painful. But, it could be the best decision you make in your life, for a better future. I can’t force you to break up, neither ask you to stay with your partner. All I can do for you is to share a little bit of information in order to help you to make a good decision, for your own happiness.

I hope this article was helpful to you in any way. Please let me know your comments and reactions regarding this article in the comment section below. We wish you a good day ahead.

things you should never sacrifice

6 Things You Should Never Sacrifice For A Relationship

Reading Time: 3 minutes

things you should never sacrifice

1# Your freedom

Freedom is one of the most important things that every one of us possesses. And that is exactly what you should never sacrifice in a relationship. If your partner takes away your freedom, you will feel like a bird in a golden cage who has it all at first glance, but in fact, craves so many things.

So, whatever you do, don’t let anyone take away your freedom because you will never be truly happy in that kind of a relationship.

2# Your spirit

Your spirit is what makes you so special and unique. So why would you ever let anyone take away from you all that makes you so incredibly amazing? Why would you accept to change because of someone else? If he loves you, he will accept you just the way you are and won’t even try to change you.

If you let him change you, he will see that he can and he will go a step further – he will test your boundaries. So, it is up to you to firmly decline all his intentions to mold you into someone who would be perfect for him.

3# Your free time

Your free time is something you should never sacrifice for a relationship. Your loved one will understand that you need to spend some time with your friends, since they were a part of your life before him. He will give you enough space to meet new people and enjoy life.

Only a narcissist will try to wedge a gap between you and your friends so he can abuse you in peace. I am not saying your perfect partner should be someone who will write love paragraphs for you every day, but having a man you can count on to give you the time to be you will be perfectly fine.

4# Your friends

Your friends are the wings that help you achieve your goals and that’s why you should never sacrifice them for anyone. It is okay to spend more time with your loved one, especially if the two of you are in a puppy phase, but don’t forget your friends as well.

They will probably give you enough time to enjoy with your loved one, but don’t neglect them. Make sure that you are there for them as they have been for you. Show them that you will always be present and, no matter what happens, they will try to give you the best advice ever.

5# Your dreams and wishes

We all have some dreams and wishes that we would like to make come true. Well, by having the right partner next to us, one who will support us, every person can make that happen.

But having someone who will want you to sacrifice your biggest dreams is definitely not someone worth being in your life. It is better to cut off a negative partner who holds you back from the things that make you happy than being stuck in a toxic relationship.

6# Your job

Your job is what fulfills you and makes you feel useful. That’s why you should never sacrifice it for your partner, nor let him decide what you will do for a living. You are allowed to do any job that makes you happy and your partner shouldn’t tell you how you should act.

The right person will support you in becoming the best version of yourself; the wrong one will just want to keep you in the house so only he can spend time with you.

That is a huge difference, and if you were able to find the person who really makes you happy, then you are one lucky girl. No matter if he is a sapiophile who is attracted to your intellect or a man who likes the way you look, if he loves you for who you really are, there is no doubt that he is the one.

by Christine Keller

how-to-end-a-relationship-with-someone-you-love

Helpful Tips – How To End A Relationship With Someone You Love

Reading Time: 5 minutes

Getting to know how to end a relationship with someone you love is the last thing you need to learn. Or it could be better if you never need to know anything about it. Because everyone wants a long-lasting relationship with someone they loved.

Do you still remember how happy you’re when you fall in love with your partner? Your day was bright, a smile on your face and you feel like you’re the happiest person on the earth. Everyone feels that way, we thought that he is the one and your relationship will last forever.

Suddenly, things happen and you’re in the middle of a breakup…

Relationships may end for a lot of reasons. It could be because you’re no longer happy with your partner, or you think he’s not good enough for you, or he never really cares about your relationship future.

Whatever the reasons, ending a relationship never been easy. Especially if you already been together for a few years. You have a lot of sweet memories been build together. Also, a lot of love has been shared. They are your partner and you love them, deep into your heart.

how-to-end-a-relationship-with-someone-you-love

That why ending a relationship can be emotionally exhausting. No matter how old are you, no matter how many experiences you had, it’s never been easy to handle a breakup.

However, there is the time ending a relationship with someone you love can be the best decision in the long run. With a proper step, it may cause minimal hurt to your partner and yourself. Here are some tips on how to end a relationship with someone you love.

1- Be clear with your decision

Try to not rush into any decision, especially when you are in a bad mood. Take your time and think. There’s a lot of couples out there who ended a relationship then regret their decision a few weeks later.

Why? Because most of their decision is based on emotion…

Don’t end a relationship if you’re not sure about it. If you have a doubt, ask yourself what is that doubt. In my opinion, before the breakup, write a list of what you no longer want to be, feel or experience in your relationship.

And don’t forget to check other things that you should not sacrifice for a relationship.

Visualize your list, what will happen to you after a breakup? Are you happy? Is that what you are hoping for? Your list can help you to be clear with your decision.

However, if part of you still feels that you can save the relationship then you should talk with your partner about your concerns, rather than simply put an end to the relationship. If you already put an end to your relationship but want to get together with your ex, you can refer to my article here, The Ex Factor Guide Review.

2- Be prepared before you end a relationship

Build up your courage to talk to your partner. To make things easier, think about what you’re going to say in advance. Practice in front of a mirror does help.

Remember the list that you have written before? Elaborate that point to discuss it with your partner. Be detail with your point and work out what is important to you in a relationship.

Be open and discuss directly with your partner. Don’t forget to take your partner’s opinion into consideration.

Many couples suffer for years and never bring up the problems to their partner. Which is what leads to a breakup. They love to assume things.

As an example:

You end a relationship because you think that is the best decision for your partner. You think that you’re blocking his career path. Or you think that you’re a burden to him. Stop that! It’s not your decision alone, you should discuss it with your partner. He knows better than you about his situation, talk with him.

3- Be respectful and honest to your partner

We never know what’s going to happen in the future. You may end up being together with your partner again. Right?

Breaking up is already painful, not for the person who’s being left behind, but also for the person who’s doing the leaving. So don’t insult them or try to hurt them.

Be honest, kind and respectful as you begin to let your partner go.

But be careful with your ‘detail’. People tend to know why they’re being dumped. You can’t simply tell them:

You’re terrible in bed

You don’t have a future

It might seem like an honest answer. But, you’re just being rude and ignorant. Instead of attacking him and blaming him for everything, focus on what you want. Changes your words, use “I” in place of “You”.

I don’t feel like we’re compatible sexually

I think we have a different way of viewing our future

This is a nicer way to express your feeling. You also can keep your partner calm during the conversation. Just make sure you don’t play around and give hope to your partner.

4- Pick the right time and place

Choose your time and place that allow both of you to discuss peacefully with privacy. Pick a time by considering your partner’s situation. Don’t simply ask for a breakup when your partner is in the middle of a big test or preparing for an important meeting.

Pick a good time for both of you. Friday night is a good example, it gives you and your soon ex-partner the whole weekend to somewhat recover from a breakup. Because there will be a period of heartbreak, sadness, and pain.

Find a less crowd location that has no special meaning for both of you. Never choose your favorite restaurant for a breakup, you may end up not going to that restaurant anymore.

But if you worried about safety, somewhere public might be the best choice.

5- Say it in person

If you’re not happy with the relationship, don’t drag the whole situation. You’re just wasting time. It is okay if you need a time or your partner needs time to think about it. But do it after you discuss it with your partner.

Openly share what you feel, and discuss about the best solution that you should take for the relationship can be very helpful.

Do it face to face. Don’t rely on text messages if you want to end the relationship. Email, texting or calling might sound easier, but it is not the best option.

A big NO; don’t ever send your friend to deliver the news for you! It’s important to give your partner the respect that he/she deserves. Unless your partner is violence, outburst, and crazy, it may be safer for you to end the relationship at a distance.

6- Look forward

Take your time to recover from heartbreak. Surround yourself with people you love, your best friend or your family member. Fill your time with doing things that you love or do something that can make you happy.

Think about all the other things that you are free to do now. But no need to show it to your ex that you’re happy. If you do it because you want to show something to your ex, you basically still not moving on.

Just do something that you love to do, not do something because of your ex.

This is the time for you to walk out of a relationship without having any ill will with each other. Build up a positive mindset that you’re breakup for a greater good. Don’t regret your decision and move forward.

Conclusion

Letting go of someone you love can be very hard and painful. But it could be the best decision for a better future. It could be the best decision for your own happiness. There is nothing wrong deciding someone isn’t for you.

If you still not sure about your own feeling, or you feel stuck searching for signs as to whether you should end a relationship or not, you may need to check this article from lifehack. They’ve pointed out the obvious signs of when you should end the relationship.

I hope this article was helpful to you. And I hope you will find a better person. Let us hear your comments and reactions about this article below.

Time To Let Go Of Someone

How To Know When To Let Go Of Someone You Love

Reading Time: 8 minutes

Letting go of someone you love is one of the hardest things to do in our life. Our mind already makes a decision to let them go, but emotionally we feel hurt, confused and complicated. We still not sure whether that was the right decision or not.

“You will find that it is necessary to let things go; simply for the reason that they are heavy. So let them go, let go of them.” ― C. JoyBell C.

Have you ever heard a story of holding a glass of water? No? It’s a great inspiring story. A story about one Professor began his class by holding a glass of water. He held the glass and start asking his student how much the glass weight?

holding glassIt could be 50gms, 100gms, or 125gms, the student answered. Then the Professor said he also doesn’t know the weight of the glass, his true question is what will happen if he held up the glass for a minute. His student said nothing will happen.

And what happens if that Professor held up the glass for an hour? One of the students said his arm would begin to ache. The Professor continues, what will happen if he held it for a day?

“Your arm could go numb, you might have several muscle stress and paralysis and maybe need to go to the hospital”, the student answered. But did the weight of the glass change? Obviously no. The cause of the pain was because you held up the glass for a long time. Same goes to your problem, if you have a problem in your relationship, don’t hold it for a long time. You must know when you should let it go, otherwise, you may end up going to the hospital (mental hospitals).

How To Know When To Let Someone You Love Go

Knowing how to end a relationship with someone is a key to being able to cut your losses, maintain your mental health and your well-being. Following are the 7 signs it’s time to let go of someone based on the expert review.

1- Everyday is a war – you argue constantly.

Every couple argues, we can say that this is normal in any relationships. If you argue in a good way, it’s can help you to share your opinion on the issues and move forward with the solution.

However, it will be a little bit abnormal if both of you can’t seem to agree on anything. Whatever you or your partner do will end up with the argument. When you argue, you actually want your partner to understand your perspective and reasoning.

how to know when to let someone go

Meanwhile, because of the difference in communication styles and relationship experiences, an argument can be the scariest enemy. It could be worse if your argument is used as a way to insult your partner. You should not disrespect your partner character, traits, or purposely said something to hurt them emotionally.

And if this type of argument happens in your relationship, it’s probably a good time to take a break. Having a healthy argument is okay and reasonable, it should not be done in a way that makes other people feel worse.

2- They’re trying to ‘fix’ you.

You should never need to be like another person just to entertain someone. First of all, it’s exhausting, and it’s show that your relationship is not consensual. If he not accepting you the way you’re, why bother to have a serious relationship with you.

Note: But do not too comfortable with “the way you’re” right now. If you have some space of you which is lacking, try to improve it. Don’t be someone else, but be a better version of you. Upgrade yourself.

It’s wiser to lose someone rather than being someone that you didn’t want to be. Because a great relationship is a combination of two imperfect couple, who are completing and supporting each other. If your partner truly loves you, he wouldn’t be trying to ‘fix’ you.

3- You are being disrespected.

Respect is one of the most important aspects of any relationship. It does not matter whether you’re men or women, it’s compulsory to respect your partner. It’s a key to happiness for a long-lasting relationship.

Meanwhile, disrespect can ruin a relationship. Disrespect may come in many forms, sometimes you may not fully recognize it on the surface, but you’ll always feel it. Behaviors such as cheating, lying, and insults, are all signs of disrespect. Because it shows that they’re not concern about your feeling and how all of this behavior can affect you.

If you’re not sure whether your partner is disrespecting or just unaware, you can try to consult your partner first. Tell them that you’re unhappy with this type of behavior, it’s hurt your feeling.

Monitor what happens after the discussion, if your partner makes an effort to understand your perspective and try to improve their behavior, they actually care about you. But, if they didn’t care about what actually happens, and still showing a lack of respect for you, it’s time to make a decision and moving forward.

4- Your trust is continuously broken.

Who agrees with me if I said trust and loyalty is priority number one in a relationship. Trust is a foundation in any relationship built, while mistrust is the one who destroys it. Nothing weakens a relationship more than dishonesty.

Take note, when you trust someone and they continuously break your trust, don’t care about your feelings, was not your faults. It’s theirs. You might naturally want to blame yourselves for having trusted someone that you fall in love. Stop it and let it go.

5- They take things for granted.

If someone really wants you in their life, they will work hard to make you happy. Do not hold on into a relationship with someone who takes things for granted. It’s not worth your time and your efforts. Know your worth, place your price! When you give yourselves to someone who doesn’t value you, it’s like you surrender your soul and never get it back.

In a relationship, the energy flow between the couple mostly equal. That why it’s important for you to practice give-and-take. If you practice one person doing all the work, you’ll create unbalance and a disconnected relationship.

If you feel you’ve been doing most of the work to maintain your relationship, try to take a big step backward and see what happens. If your partner starts to pick up the slack and come toward you, then your partner still has the effort to repair the relationship.

However, if you step back and they do not come toward you, instead they get angry or continue to drift away, I think you already know the answers.

6- The goodness is gone.

In any new relationship, there’s always have a feeling of happiness and excitement because of someone we like is coming into our lives. We’ll start care for each other, supporting each other, and love each other! That’s how we feel, it’s intoxicating.

But if you’re in a bad relationship with someone and you increasingly have a negative feeling when they were around you, it’s likely that you’re being with someone who is not compatible with you. Chemistry and shared value are important, a solid relationship is built from the goodness that exists between two people.

relationship standards that actually matter

Goodness is what holds the relationship together. It’s being in every partner side even when they might be wrong. It’s the willingness to forgive a mistake or tolerate an annoying habit from their partner. It’s the support, respect, dedication, responsible, admiration, and commitment you have for each other.

You might have this at the early stage of your relationship, but now it erodes slowly over time. The goodness may be fading because of argument, anger, distance, lack of respect and etc. Unfortunately, one the goodness fade, it’s can hurt your relationship and it’s very hard to regain.

7- They don’t make future plans with you.

If someone really loves and care for you, they will make everything clear. Whether about their job, their schedule and their future plans with you. It means that they prioritize you and they place you in their life.

It’s not because you want to depend on them. But you need to realize, people who are undependable often find an assortment of excuses. Someone undependable is mainly not a person worthy of your presence, and your future.

I’m not saying that you need to know all your future plan right away, but if you’ve been with someone for more than 1 year and they don’t have any plan where things may head with you, they’re not really into you. Love yourselves enough to know that you deserve better.

It’s important for you to know that you never need to settle down for someone who isn’t right for you. We’re not living in a fairy tale, people break promises, loves, and hurt you. Remove the toxic from your life. You know you deserve better. Remember, you can always start dating again.

One Thing That Proves You’re Meant For Each Other

People say the meaning of our life is to find our gift. And the purpose of our life is to give it away.

But in order to give, there’s must be someone to receive it. So who should you give it to?

I bet you already have that ‘someone’ image on your thoughts right now. And as you read this phrase, you can roughly picture his face.

The thing is, you’re not really sure about that. Thinking about him brings up mixed emotions. Because you know that your relationship has potential. And you know how good you could be together.

Yet there’s a pain in there. And that pain comes from the fact that something is blocking you from giving away your greatest gift. Your love..

I know it’s not easy to let go of someone you love. When you’ve shared a special connection with someone, it’s not easy to let it go. Especially when you know, deep in your heart there’s still a lot of potentials to improve the relationship.

You could build a beautiful life together, make a better future.

If that something that you want, then it’s worth fighting for.

But then something comes to your mind. Your own thoughts. And it could be something like this..

“Why not I just settle for some other guy?”

“Why not I pour my love into a guy who adores me more then he did?”

Let me ask you, is that okay to have a relationship with some pudgy guy, poor social skill and have body odor? But he appreciates your love more than anyone you’ve ever met? Should both of you elope?

Of course not. Even he is a normal guy with a handsome face, you may get the same answer.

Why?

Because it’s about mutual desire. Deep down in your heart, he’s not the not. Your heart already makes a decision. She already chooses someone…

And don’t hold your cards, “I’ll only reveal my true feelings if he goes first.”

If you want to win back your man’s heart, there’s something that you need to know. Showing that you still like him is not enough.

You need to find and get past the barriers that are currently keeping you both a part.

No matter how stubborn he is, no matter how “logical” his decision, he’s still human. Which mean emotion drive his decision-making more than anything else.

Here the secret to getting back your ex. Forget about convincing him to give things one more try. Instead, you should focus on changing the way he feels.

Sounds right? If you like the idea, but you’re not sure where to start, I recommend you to check the Relationship rewrite method by James Bauer. I’m not being biased, but it’s really worth your time to check his video.

It could be the beginning of a new chapter with your ex, just waiting for you to turn the page.

why a guy would let go a good woman

Be A Good Women Sometime Won’t Be Enough

Reading Time: 5 minutes

What is the real reason a guy would let go a good woman? Have you ever heard that good woman find herself difficult to get a husband? I’ve heard a lot of response from a woman saying that men leave good women because they didn’t see the good in them, or they take things for granted, or they are ungrateful men.

why men leave good women

But is that a true reason why they would let go a good woman? Or is it just a one-sided assumption from women herself? Well, it may be true, it maybe not.

For women who just break up, the first question is always “why?”

“Why did he leave me?”

“What did I do wrong?”

“Did I offend him?”

The truth is, for men and women, who love each other, if you’re not happy with your relationship (even though you’ve been trying to improve the relationship), you’ll do what’s best for you including let her go.

So, if you’ve been shocked by the men you love unexpectedly ending the relationship, not because of the reason I state above, then there must be a something else. Maybe it’s because of the things that you’re not even realized.

From my personal observation, this is the top reason why a guy would let go a good woman.

1- He felt pressure and inadequate

Were you set any standard in your relationship? For example, he must do this and that before he got something in return. Or did you chase him to get more love and affection than what he was giving you?

If yes, then your relationship definitely is not balanced. It can be one of the reasons why he felt pressure and inadequate in your presence. To be honest, this is not your fault.

Most men usually run from their own emotional pressure (and most of them will never admit it). He just does what he does best when he’s under pressure, like escape from the source of pain in an effort to protect himself.

Men who feel inadequate most likely misinterpret your message or intention. An example, you tell your lover “We never going out anymore”, or “You used to buy me a small gift before”. It’s generally a message to your lover that you wanted them to do something that you’d enjoy.

But what they usually understand is you’re unhappy and he failed to make you happy. In his mind he feel like anything he does isn’t good enough for you.

How to overcome this problem

You can try to change the way you communicate with your lover, try not to focus on what he’s lacking. Choose your word wisely, instead of saying “We never going out anymore”, try “You’d make me happy if you can…” or “I’d love if we can…”. Focus on the positive side of his behavior on you.

Highlight any specific behavior that you want him to repeat more, make it more clear. Don’t just give him a hint and assume he already knows what you really want. Communication is essential for a happy relationship, if you struggling to communicate effectively, check out my other post on how to communicate effectively in a relationship.

2- He feels like he can’t be himself

We always heard that a guy will leave a woman because she’s “nagging” too much, or because she always trying to “fix” that guys. But that doesn’t really explain the whole picture.

When you’re already in a serious relationship, there is the time where you see your partner from a different angle, you’ll discover a new side of him that you never know before. It’s could be good or worse. So it really depends on you on how to manage this situation.

If you try to push your partner to follow your standard or make him feel like he can’t be himself around you, it’s going to grate him. This reason alone might be enough for him to leave you, even if he’s deeply in love with you.

How to overcome this problem

A great relationship is a combination of two imperfect partners, who are supporting each other to become a better person. Being honest, genuine selves with each other can keep your relationship strong. Do not try to changes your partner to follow your direction, instead, both of you need to learn on how to improve yourselves to become a better partner.

Make yourselves clear, if you don’t like the way he acts when he’s being honest and genuine to you, make a decision and move forward.

3- He’s tired of being compared to other men

Do you know what is the root of joy and happiness in every relationship for men? It’s simply because of knowing that we’re the chosen one, out of everyone in the world, by our partner. We can smile all day when we know that you choose us.

Did you remember your lover said, “thank you for choosing me” or “thank you for accepting me in your life”, right? It shows how grateful he was when you choose him to become your partner.

But when you, or your friends, or your families compared him to the other men, it hurt them so much, inside. He feels like he’s not your first choice, he has been compared negatively to the other men and he doesn’t stack up. This can erode his joy and his desire to be in the relationship.

Maybe you can say that he was soft and not up to the challenges. But deep down you know, that’s not true. Try to twist the plot, let’s say he said something to you, that you’re not good enough to be compared with his friend girlfriend. How did you feel?

No one wants to feel that way, it’s a horrible feeling. It’s enough to make him leave the relationship.

How to overcome this problem

Simple – Do not compare your partner with other people. Instead, try to compare them with a monkey or fish. It will be much better.

4- He didn’t feel respected

Maybe you’re a good fine woman with pretty eyes and beautiful hair. You have a stable income and working at a good company. But if you can’t respect your partner, your relationship simply won’t work. There are no men in the world can’t build a life with a woman who’s doesn’t respect him.

It doesn’t matter if you are older than him or make more money than him. You still need to show respect to your partner. That the basic rule in a relationship.

MoreRelationship Advice For Women: How To Date A Younger Man

How to overcome the problem

He has to feel that you’re on his back beyond and above anyone else. Because you’re the key to his success and greatness. In order for him to unlock all the ability around him, he needs a deep and solid foundation of respect. With you as a high caliber women by his side, he can achieve more success and take greater risk in his life.

So now you’ve already known the reason why a guy would let go a good woman. If you one of the women, it’s time to reflect and take immediate action to rectify the situation if you still love him. Once you know to break through his defense and touch his heart, he will be yours.

If you have good advice to add to this list please share it through a comment below.

Not Happy In Your Relationship

7 Signs Of A Bad Relationship and It Is Almost Over

Reading Time: 6 minutes

Everyone wants a healthy and happy relationship that lasts long. But in order to maintain a healthy relationship, both of you must require a remarkable amount of focus and effort. Do not take things for granted, tolerate, supports each other, show gratitude are the most important keys for a happy relationship.

But at some point, we all get involved in serious challenges in the relationship. After that, we realized that things start to changes. Our partner suddenly became a different person. We will feel like, “he was not like this when I first know him”, right? The fact is, he also start thinking the same about you.

signs of a bad relationship

That’s how the journey of an unhappy relationship start. The sad truth is, there’s a lot of couples out there who stays together even though they are unhappy. They stay in that relationship may be because of their kid’s sake, life commitment, compassion, loyalty, patience, and many other reasons.

What are the signs of a bad relationship?

So maybe you need to ask yourselves, have you ever been feeling stuck in your relationship? Are things not moving fast enough? If you not sure, here the 7 signs that you’re not happy in your relationship. Hope it can help you clarify the problem that has been bothering you and help you figure out what course of action best serve you from here.

1- You avoid spending time with your partner.

Avoidance is a sure sign that there is trouble in your relationship. A relationship requires work, time and energy to make it work. So if you feel bored, uninterested, or not enjoying time spent with your partner, it could mean that you’re not happy with your partner.

But do not confuse this. If you’re having a good time with your friends or finally have a moment for yourselves after your busy day and ignore all the incoming text or phone call, don’t worry. You’re allowed to have your “me” time for yourselves.

What I mean by avoidance is when you feel flinch with the idea of watching a movie together or have dinner together. If this happens, it’s time to start re-evaluating things.

2- You rarely initiate sex these days.

Do you believe that sex is a good barometer to judge the state of your relationship? For me, it depends on the situation. Let’s say you just have the baby within your small family, don’t expect to have sex as many as you have before the child was born.

But if you rarely initiate sex, without any specific reason, you just feel don’t like it or bored, then you might be struggling with the relationship. Sexual connection is necessary to your wellbeing and the intimacy you need in your relationship.

Frankly speaking, we generally don’t want to have sex with someone when we don’t feel some sense of joy or pleasure with that person. So ask yourselves a question, are you really not sexually attracted to your partner anymore.

3- You are feeling insecure

When you start dating someone, it will take some time for you to figure out whether you fit their world or not. You probably make some effort to know more about their work, their family and close friends. You want to be one of their important things in their lives.

Read: 7 Secrets To A Happy Marriage From Man’s Perspective

However, when your relationship starts to crumble, you’ll start to see the sign of insecurities. The main problem with insecurities in a relationship is that it start o affect both you and your partner.

Nowadays, with the presence of the internet, smartphone, and social media, insecurities run wild in a relationship. As an example, it’s could be that you’re always want to check up on your partner phone. You want to know who they’ve been texting, direct messaging, or call.

If you’re constantly self-doubt about your relationship, perhaps this isn’t the relationship that you should be in. However, if the feeling of insecurities is just based on your imagination, it’s time to correct it as soon as possible.

4- You start looking at other people as a potential partner.

There’s always a man walking around you, and the problem is they start to get your attention. Have you ever thought something like this:

“will it be better if I married to this kind of man”

“why I didn’t meet someone like this before”

“I wish my partner can be like him”

When you start comparing your partner with the other men, the game has already changed. Later you’ll start to wish your partner to be more like your friend’s husband, or you find yourselves fully attracted to a specific man.

This will not happen if you’re really happy in your marriage or relationship. Because you don’t feel the need to look somewhere else, and in fact, you don’t really even think about it.

5- You don’t have much to talk to your partner.

It will awkward if you going to dinner with your partner sitting in complete silence and uncomfortably staring at your dinner plate. If you and your partner regularly find yourselves in this uneasy situation, you should discuss whether you should stay together or not.

Because communication is the cornerstone of a happy relationship. When we care about someone, we will make an effort to listen to what they want to say. If you have any resentment, you must talk it out rather than let the resentment grow. Discuss it with your partner and be open so they can be worked out.

If you still arguing about almost everything, even after you’ve tried to work on this problem, consider talking to a couples counselor. Involving the third party in your relationship sometimes can be very helpful. I hate to tell you this, but if you don’t think the relationship is worth that kind of commitment, it might be time to throw in the towel.

6- You’ve stopped trying to impress them.

When you first meet with your partner, you really put your best effort to impress them. It could be that you wear your most flattering outfits, go to the saloon to make your hair, and even arrived 1 hour earlier waiting for him. This is a normal part of the courtship process in an early relationship.

Then, there will come a day when they have to see you in your homey pajamas with messy hair, or maybe it’s even worse than that. You’ll also start to see the other side of your partner. This is real life if you’re going to have a reality-based relationship.

Even after you’ve become more comfortable with your partner, you still want to take care of your appearance right? Because physical appearance plays a vital part in your relationship life. If this element of trying to impress your partner suddenly disappears, you might have a problem.

Simply said, if you don’t have a need to impress them, you need to question yourselves your own level of interest and commitment that you willing to give to your partner.

7- You’ve been cheating.

In a relationship, everyone does not like being deceived, same goes to you and your partner. Once you’ve been decided to be in a serious relationship, you need to create strong boundaries with any third party that can cause a problem down the line. Right?

This could involve ending a friendship and limiting contact with a certain type of people, that is worth to protect your relationship. This is a normal situation in a normal relationship.

But, if you start exchanging sexually suggestive text, or sharing personal details about your relationship with someone that you’ve been flirt with, you actually have been cheating.

Obviously, I don’t have the right to judge you, but you can ask this within yourselves. If this behavior make you feel guilty? Or did you didn’t want your partner find out about this?

Be honest with yourselves, have you been cheating? I assume you’ve already known the answer.

Take action or move on

If you discover that you’re unhappy with your relationship, you can still make a change. Because it’s not easy to choose to break up if you’re a married couple, there’s a lot of things you need to consider before you make a decision.

So what you need to do is, try to list out which area you’re lacking and focus to improve those areas. Ask your partner to take part in this improvement. Try to give your best shot. If you’ve already made an improvement and still unhappy, give yourselves permission to end a relationship with your partner.

Your marriage is the place you live most of the time, so it should be a happy place, not a prison. Take responsibility for your own happiness. You only live once, you deserve and worthy of happiness.

What your opinion about the list? Leave your comment below, we love to hear your feedback.