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what to do when he pulls away

What To Do When He Pulls Away And How To Win Him Back?

Reading Time: 11 minutes

This article covers all the basic things that you need to know about what to do when he pulls away. It’s quite long, so you may need a cup of coffee while you read it. 😉

what to do when he pulls away

You might be dating someone right now, you really like him and you think you’re compatible with him. He also shows the same interest. He gives you the attention that you wanted, making time for you, and generally letting you know how grateful he is to have met you.

But, when you feel like your relationship is going to the next step, something happens…

Out of the blue, he starts to pull away, and you’re left wondering what’s going on. He doesn’t say anything to you about it, but you know your man has been distant.

No matter how much you try to ignore it, having someone you care about pull away from you is not easy. And the worst part, you had no idea why he was pulling away. You already analyze every single thing you could have said or done, but still didn’t get the answer.

Well…

Rest assured, the very first step you should take is, stop overthinking and don’t panic. Today’s article, we will discuss a few common topics of what are the signs of men pulling away, why men pull away, how to react and how to win him back.

Here we’ve put together all the subtopics. You can click each link to read your preferable subtopic:

Signs he is pulling away

He’s acting differently, not as usual and it quite scary. You’re starting to think that he’s pulling away, but you’re not sure. That is a terrifying thought. Especially for those who’ve been down that road before. Having the same nightmare is not a great experience.

Slowly it can make you stress and even more stressful to your relationship. That why it’s important for you to know about the problems, how to react to it and handle it carefully. With proper action, you can bring the relationship back from the brink.

Learn the signs he is pulling away, figure out what is going on, clear the communication and hopefully solve the problems.

So in this section, we’ll talk about the signs that a guy withdrawing from a relationship. I will share with you a list of things that guys always do when they’re pulling away.

1# He acting distant all of a sudden

It could be that he’s losing interest, or it doesn’t mean like that. Men are different from women. They are often dealing with their problem by retreating rather than relying on you or the others.

So, he may have something going on with his personal life, stressed out or emotionally off-balance that taking up his attention.

This can be hard for most women to understand because as for women, they love to share their thought with their partner.

2# He text back less and less

He tries to avoid your text. It may take him a few hours or days just to reply to your texts. He may give a lot of excuses for why he didn’t reply to your text, or he could just silently ignore your texts. When they don’t bother to tell you about their life, or simply don’t want to share it with you – it’s a strong sign that he is pulling away.

But don’t rush into a conclusion, perhaps there’s something going on at work or in his family that causing stress. And they’re not ready to discuss with you yet. So, give him some time and space that he needs.

3# He no longer initiates thing

He not initiating plans or text as often as before. No longer good morning or goodnight text. And no longer weekend hangout activity. For women, changes in behavior are hard to ignore. It affects them emotionally and mentally.

Because we know when men interested in women, they tend to initiates things. So when he stops initiates, it worrisome.

Just for a reminder, if you’re already in a relationship for quite some time, you can’t expect him to court you non-stop. You need to be considerate in this kind of ‘topic’.

4# He being way more secretive

Everyone has their own privacy. But if this happens suddenly, keep in mind that it is not normal. You can tell the difference if he is more secretive with their texts, always put the phone in his pocket and take calls in another room.

This is a clear sign that he is not interested to share his personal life with you or he just has someone else other than you. If this happens to you, whatever the reason, you should have a good discussion about your relationship ship status with your partner.

5# He’s too busy to keep plans

Did he always give an excuse or another when you make a plan? Suddenly got work that needs to be done, has to see friends or anything. And you feel that he keeps knocking you off from the priority list?

Well, canceling every time is rude. And if he is really interested in you, he will make you a priority. Even if he needs to cancel the appointments, he will arrange another plan for you.

In order to confirm whether he is pulling away or not, you need to check this behavior along with his other behaviors. Because it is also possible that he just suddenly been busy or he feels that things are more established between you, and you’re understanding his situation.

Just pay attention to how often it happens. If it constantly happens, you may need to talk with him about your current relationship issues.

question to ask yourself before you start dating

Why do men pull away?

The reasons men pull away can mean any number of things. And it not necessarily that your relationship is in bad condition. Sometimes it has nothing to do with ‘you’ at all. Maybe, that is how your men prefer to deal with stress and difficulties. And the other part, its really because of you.

A guy pulling away is actually quite normal. It’s natural for him to drift away at some times. Maybe he’s going through something that you didn’t know and he is not ready to share those things with you. Because men didn’t want to be seen as a weak person. They choose to hide their emotions and also their problems.

That why it’s important to remind yourself that if he is acting distant, don’t strictly jump into conclusion and panic. Your relationship situation totally depends on your actions.

By knowing how to manage this situation properly, you can prevent the situation from getting worse. From time to time, it’s going to become less and less frequent.

Here are the few reasons why do men pull away:

1# It’s not your fault, at all.

He might struggle with his works, his life, health, family, financial status or anything. That slowly consume his mind, energy, and attention for you.

Whatever the reasons, if it has nothing to do with you, don’t bother to push him by asking him telling the truth. It’s not working. Men typically prefer to deal with the problem on their own. This is why he didn’t tell you or ask for your help.

So, being panic and get very anxious is just going to make him pulls away even more. Instead, show your support by giving the space that he needed. As an example, you can send a text message:

“Hi, I’m not sure what happened to you. But if you need some time to wraps things up please do so. I just want you to know that I’m always here if you need me.”

This message shows that you’re willing to understand his situation and allow him to do his thing. However, don’t wait for him like forever. I will share with you a few other suggestions down below, and if it still not work, just moves on to a better person.

2# He’s having doubt about the relationship

Doubt in a relationship is pretty common. It is unavoidable and sometimes it’s not necessarily a bad sign. Because as a human being, it’s natural to feel confused with the relationship. No matter how long you’ve been together.

But, having too much doubt isn’t good either. And it will be getting worse without proper communication. Eventually, it can push your loved one away.

That’s what happens for most of the men that pull away. He may have his own reason to doubt a relationship. It could be because he’s losing interest and want to rethink the relationship. Or it was because of his fear.

Maybe he’s been hurt in the past, so the idea of commitment simply horrify him. He doesn’t have the confidence to move forward. If you want to support him, you need to be calm and don’t push him too hard. Let him deal with what’s scaring him.

3# You freak him out

It happens all the time. He thinks that he knows you. You’re funny, caring, lovely and hygiene. But then he finds out, oh you’re a bit different. You’re controlling, clingy, insecure, and a dirty person! No wonder that he loses attraction.

The above situation is just an example. There are many other reasons why men pull away:

  • Maybe you didn’t give him space when he needs it
  • He feels trapped or afraid to lose his freedom
  • Your family doesn’t like him
  • Your future doesn’t line up with him
  • You’re rude to his best friend/family members

The list can go on and on, nonstop. He may pull away because of you, but don’t totally blame yourself.

For me, if he doesn’t like you because of your body shape, your skin color, your hair or anything that didn’t benefit you. Just leave him be and find someone else better. He is not worth your time and your love.

But, if he didn’t like something about you because he thinks that you can be a much better person. Then you need to consider his opinion. As an example:

  • He didn’t want you to eat junkie and overweight. You should eat more healthy food.
  • Take care of your hygiene, clean your room and your house.
  • Reduces alcohol and cigarette. Stop if possible.
  • Take care of your appearance.
  • Live a healthy lifestyle.
  • And etc.

I didn’t agree 100% with a quote “just be yourself”. Simple explanation, if you can be better, why not?

Here you may need to watch a video from Mathew Boggs, he shares a very interesting point of why men pull away when things are good.

When he pulls away, should I do the same?

It’s natural for women to feel worried and put more effort into the situation when his man is pulling away. They tend to fix the situation by trying to get closer to him and involved in his life. Ask him a lot of questions to dig what’s going on to figure out the root of the problem.

Sad to say, this reaction always causes the opposite of their desired effect. Men tend to pull away even more when women try hard to pull him back. So the best way to stop them from withdrawing is to stop trying to pull him back.

We are not going to teach you to ignore your man. But this suggestion is more focused on yourself. Increase your attraction so that he draws to you as he was before.

How to win him back after he pulls away?

Giving room for each other may heal your relationship. It prevents your situation from getting worse.

Sometimes, being apart from each other allow you to reset and feel comfortable with yourself. It enables you to recharge your energy. You can go to your favorite island, spend your time to read your favorite book, hang out with your girls and do anything that you wanted.

All things need rest and refreshment, including relationships. So use this time to:

1# Don’t stress out

Stressing out is never be a solution. No matter how much you love him and worried about him, do not let your emotions consume you. Don’t make a decision based on your emotion. You need to know what you’re dealing with first before trying to fix it.

Maybe he has just been busy with his life. And don’t expect him to chase you all over again like he did when you first start dating. He may initiate often when he tries to win over you. But once things have gotten more stable, he will start to slow down. Remember, he also has jobs and lives.

So the first step is, figure out what problem you’re dealing with. Check back all the signs that I mention above. If it clear that he’s pulling away, you can proceed with the next step.

2# Focus on yourself

Don’t try to call him or text him. Just leave him alone at this moment in time. No need to remind him that you exist and waiting for him.

If he wants some space to settle up his things, take this opportunity to take some time to focus on yourself also. Recall back things that you really want to do, your goals, your friends, your hobby, or anything.

Use this time to focus on things that can boost your own self-worth. As an example going to the gym, practice yoga and meditation. Many studies have shown that exercise can improve your self-esteem and mental health.

When you focus on your things, you slowly raise the attraction that he feels for you. Because when you don’t chase and focuses on your own thing, you show your strength and confidence. Which is are attractive qualities for men.

how to start dating again

3# Get ready for the better relationship

There is a moment in your life where you need to be alone to reflect on who you are, how your life, where’s your direct and what’s your plan. Use this time to rekindle with your own voice.

Check back your past relationship with him, get the new idea for your relationship and more. Rekindle with your own voice also can help you solve your own problems without comparing it to another person’s opinions.

Other than that, you can use that space to do things on your own and bring those new experiences to the table. If you recall back, there were times when you spend time with your partner, but you don’t actually interact with him.

Both of you just sitting in silence playing with the phone. It should be no problem if this happens once in a while. However, if this happens too frequently, you need to admit that both of you literally have nothing to talk about.

So by taking some time off to focus on your personal time is not a big deal. You’ll have better preparation and have more things to talk about with your partner.

4# Check in after a few weeks

Yes, you don’t want to put pressure on him, but it doesn’t mean that you should just ignore him. After you’ve spent some time (a week or two) focusing on yourself, it time to check where he’s at.

Shoot him a positive message about your life that makes your interest clear and gives him a chance to be involved. Just a quick text message is enough. Let him know that you’re thinking about him and offer some help if he needs it.

Don’t mention anything about his disappearance, just keep it light and casual. If he still ignores your text and shows no interest, it’s time to move on. You’ve already made your interest clear, but he didn’t respond to that feeling.

There are more amazing guys out there, who would be more than happy to accept you in their lives. Time to fly babeh!

5# Welcome him when he comes back

If he chooses to come back, welcome him. Don’t pout, give him positive reinforcement. You need to move forward with a clean heart. Do not hold onto resentment or anger.

You might not agree with me, but I still think that you didn’t need to let him know about how bad you’re hurt when he pulled away. Hold your emotion, show your confidence, be open and don’t judge anything until he says something about it.

The chances are high that he will say sorry about it. He might tell you everything about why he has been missing. Don’t bother about whether it’s true or not, he just expressing how bad he feels about it. So leave it alone and move forward.

Final thought…

I hope this article helped you understand exactly what to do when he pulls away, the reason behind that and how to react to the situation. It may not complete, but I think its enough to cover all the basic parts of the problem.

Remember, if someone is committed to the relationship, then he is most likely not gonna fade away. He may take some time to settle things (which is what we’ve been discussed below), but he will not ghosting you.

But, if he just fades away, without any feedback, and you’ve already put an effort to restore the relationship. My advice is, don’t waste your time and your tear on him. He’s not worth it, just move forward to find a better person. That’s all from me. I would love to hear any questions regarding this topic, please leave your comment below. I will answer all your question myself.

p/s: If you recently face this kind of situation or having an unexpected breakup, and hoping for advice from a relationship expert, I suggest you check the ex factor guide from Brad’s Browning.

It’s very helpful for someone who is recently breakup. However, please check my The Ex Factor Guide Reviews first, because I already write a few important points that might be helpful for you.

things you should never sacrifice

6 Things You Should Never Sacrifice For A Relationship

Reading Time: 3 minutes

things you should never sacrifice

1# Your freedom

Freedom is one of the most important things that every one of us possesses. And that is exactly what you should never sacrifice in a relationship. If your partner takes away your freedom, you will feel like a bird in a golden cage who has it all at first glance, but in fact, craves so many things.

So, whatever you do, don’t let anyone take away your freedom because you will never be truly happy in that kind of a relationship.

2# Your spirit

Your spirit is what makes you so special and unique. So why would you ever let anyone take away from you all that makes you so incredibly amazing? Why would you accept to change because of someone else? If he loves you, he will accept you just the way you are and won’t even try to change you.

If you let him change you, he will see that he can and he will go a step further – he will test your boundaries. So, it is up to you to firmly decline all his intentions to mold you into someone who would be perfect for him.

3# Your free time

Your free time is something you should never sacrifice for a relationship. Your loved one will understand that you need to spend some time with your friends, since they were a part of your life before him. He will give you enough space to meet new people and enjoy life.

Only a narcissist will try to wedge a gap between you and your friends so he can abuse you in peace. I am not saying your perfect partner should be someone who will write love paragraphs for you every day, but having a man you can count on to give you the time to be you will be perfectly fine.

4# Your friends

Your friends are the wings that help you achieve your goals and that’s why you should never sacrifice them for anyone. It is okay to spend more time with your loved one, especially if the two of you are in a puppy phase, but don’t forget your friends as well.

They will probably give you enough time to enjoy with your loved one, but don’t neglect them. Make sure that you are there for them as they have been for you. Show them that you will always be present and, no matter what happens, they will try to give you the best advice ever.

5# Your dreams and wishes

We all have some dreams and wishes that we would like to make come true. Well, by having the right partner next to us, one who will support us, every person can make that happen.

But having someone who will want you to sacrifice your biggest dreams is definitely not someone worth being in your life. It is better to cut off a negative partner who holds you back from the things that make you happy than being stuck in a toxic relationship.

6# Your job

Your job is what fulfills you and makes you feel useful. That’s why you should never sacrifice it for your partner, nor let him decide what you will do for a living. You are allowed to do any job that makes you happy and your partner shouldn’t tell you how you should act.

The right person will support you in becoming the best version of yourself; the wrong one will just want to keep you in the house so only he can spend time with you.

That is a huge difference, and if you were able to find the person who really makes you happy, then you are one lucky girl. No matter if he is a sapiophile who is attracted to your intellect or a man who likes the way you look, if he loves you for who you really are, there is no doubt that he is the one.

by Christine Keller

how-to-end-a-relationship-with-someone-you-love

Helpful Tips – How To End A Relationship With Someone You Love

Reading Time: 5 minutes

Getting to know how to end a relationship with someone you love is the last thing you need to learn. Or it could be better if you never need to know anything about it. Because everyone wants a long-lasting relationship with someone they loved.

Do you still remember how happy you’re when you fall in love with your partner? Your day was bright, a smile on your face and you feel like you’re the happiest person on the earth. Everyone feels that way, we thought that he is the one and your relationship will last forever.

Suddenly, things happen and you’re in the middle of a breakup…

Relationships may end for a lot of reasons. It could be because you’re no longer happy with your partner, or you think he’s not good enough for you, or he never really cares about your relationship future.

Whatever the reasons, ending a relationship never been easy. Especially if you already been together for a few years. You have a lot of sweet memories been build together. Also, a lot of love has been shared. They are your partner and you love them, deep into your heart.

how-to-end-a-relationship-with-someone-you-love

That why ending a relationship can be emotionally exhausting. No matter how old are you, no matter how many experiences you had, it’s never been easy to handle a breakup.

However, there is the time ending a relationship with someone you love can be the best decision in the long run. With a proper step, it may cause minimal hurt to your partner and yourself. Here are some tips on how to end a relationship with someone you love.

1- Be clear with your decision

Try to not rush into any decision, especially when you are in a bad mood. Take your time and think. There’s a lot of couples out there who ended a relationship then regret their decision a few weeks later.

Why? Because most of their decision is based on emotion…

Don’t end a relationship if you’re not sure about it. If you have a doubt, ask yourself what is that doubt. In my opinion, before the breakup, write a list of what you no longer want to be, feel or experience in your relationship.

And don’t forget to check other things that you should not sacrifice for a relationship.

Visualize your list, what will happen to you after a breakup? Are you happy? Is that what you are hoping for? Your list can help you to be clear with your decision.

However, if part of you still feels that you can save the relationship then you should talk with your partner about your concerns, rather than simply put an end to the relationship. If you already put an end to your relationship but want to get together with your ex, you can refer to my article here, The Ex Factor Guide Review.

2- Be prepared before you end a relationship

Build up your courage to talk to your partner. To make things easier, think about what you’re going to say in advance. Practice in front of a mirror does help.

Remember the list that you have written before? Elaborate that point to discuss it with your partner. Be detail with your point and work out what is important to you in a relationship.

Be open and discuss directly with your partner. Don’t forget to take your partner’s opinion into consideration.

Many couples suffer for years and never bring up the problems to their partner. Which is what leads to a breakup. They love to assume things.

As an example:

You end a relationship because you think that is the best decision for your partner. You think that you’re blocking his career path. Or you think that you’re a burden to him. Stop that! It’s not your decision alone, you should discuss it with your partner. He knows better than you about his situation, talk with him.

3- Be respectful and honest to your partner

We never know what’s going to happen in the future. You may end up being together with your partner again. Right?

Breaking up is already painful, not for the person who’s being left behind, but also for the person who’s doing the leaving. So don’t insult them or try to hurt them.

Be honest, kind and respectful as you begin to let your partner go.

But be careful with your ‘detail’. People tend to know why they’re being dumped. You can’t simply tell them:

You’re terrible in bed

You don’t have a future

It might seem like an honest answer. But, you’re just being rude and ignorant. Instead of attacking him and blaming him for everything, focus on what you want. Changes your words, use “I” in place of “You”.

I don’t feel like we’re compatible sexually

I think we have a different way of viewing our future

This is a nicer way to express your feeling. You also can keep your partner calm during the conversation. Just make sure you don’t play around and give hope to your partner.

4- Pick the right time and place

Choose your time and place that allow both of you to discuss peacefully with privacy. Pick a time by considering your partner’s situation. Don’t simply ask for a breakup when your partner is in the middle of a big test or preparing for an important meeting.

Pick a good time for both of you. Friday night is a good example, it gives you and your soon ex-partner the whole weekend to somewhat recover from a breakup. Because there will be a period of heartbreak, sadness, and pain.

Find a less crowd location that has no special meaning for both of you. Never choose your favorite restaurant for a breakup, you may end up not going to that restaurant anymore.

But if you worried about safety, somewhere public might be the best choice.

5- Say it in person

If you’re not happy with the relationship, don’t drag the whole situation. You’re just wasting time. It is okay if you need a time or your partner needs time to think about it. But do it after you discuss it with your partner.

Openly share what you feel, and discuss about the best solution that you should take for the relationship can be very helpful.

Do it face to face. Don’t rely on text messages if you want to end the relationship. Email, texting or calling might sound easier, but it is not the best option.

A big NO; don’t ever send your friend to deliver the news for you! It’s important to give your partner the respect that he/she deserves. Unless your partner is violence, outburst, and crazy, it may be safer for you to end the relationship at a distance.

6- Look forward

Take your time to recover from heartbreak. Surround yourself with people you love, your best friend or your family member. Fill your time with doing things that you love or do something that can make you happy.

Think about all the other things that you are free to do now. But no need to show it to your ex that you’re happy. If you do it because you want to show something to your ex, you basically still not moving on.

Just do something that you love to do, not do something because of your ex.

This is the time for you to walk out of a relationship without having any ill will with each other. Build up a positive mindset that you’re breakup for a greater good. Don’t regret your decision and move forward.

Conclusion

Letting go of someone you love can be very hard and painful. But it could be the best decision for a better future. It could be the best decision for your own happiness. There is nothing wrong deciding someone isn’t for you.

If you still not sure about your own feeling, or you feel stuck searching for signs as to whether you should end a relationship or not, you may need to check this article from lifehack. They’ve pointed out the obvious signs of when you should end the relationship.

I hope this article was helpful to you. And I hope you will find a better person. Let us hear your comments and reactions about this article below.

Time To Let Go Of Someone

How To Know When To Let Go Of Someone You Love

Reading Time: 8 minutes

Letting go of someone you love is one of the hardest things to do in our life. Our mind already makes a decision to let them go, but emotionally we feel hurt, confused and complicated. We still not sure whether that was the right decision or not.

“You will find that it is necessary to let things go; simply for the reason that they are heavy. So let them go, let go of them.” ― C. JoyBell C.

Have you ever heard a story of holding a glass of water? No? It’s a great inspiring story. A story about one Professor began his class by holding a glass of water. He held the glass and start asking his student how much the glass weight?

holding glassIt could be 50gms, 100gms, or 125gms, the student answered. Then the Professor said he also doesn’t know the weight of the glass, his true question is what will happen if he held up the glass for a minute. His student said nothing will happen.

And what happens if that Professor held up the glass for an hour? One of the students said his arm would begin to ache. The Professor continues, what will happen if he held it for a day?

“Your arm could go numb, you might have several muscle stress and paralysis and maybe need to go to the hospital”, the student answered. But did the weight of the glass change? Obviously no. The cause of the pain was because you held up the glass for a long time. Same goes to your problem, if you have a problem in your relationship, don’t hold it for a long time. You must know when you should let it go, otherwise, you may end up going to the hospital (mental hospitals).

How To Know When To Let Someone You Love Go

Knowing how to end a relationship with someone is a key to being able to cut your losses, maintain your mental health and your well-being. Following are the 7 signs it’s time to let go of someone based on the expert review.

1- Everyday is a war – you argue constantly.

Every couple argues, we can say that this is normal in any relationships. If you argue in a good way, it’s can help you to share your opinion on the issues and move forward with the solution.

However, it will be a little bit abnormal if both of you can’t seem to agree on anything. Whatever you or your partner do will end up with the argument. When you argue, you actually want your partner to understand your perspective and reasoning.

how to know when to let someone go

Meanwhile, because of the difference in communication styles and relationship experiences, an argument can be the scariest enemy. It could be worse if your argument is used as a way to insult your partner. You should not disrespect your partner character, traits, or purposely said something to hurt them emotionally.

And if this type of argument happens in your relationship, it’s probably a good time to take a break. Having a healthy argument is okay and reasonable, it should not be done in a way that makes other people feel worse.

2- They’re trying to ‘fix’ you.

You should never need to be like another person just to entertain someone. First of all, it’s exhausting, and it’s show that your relationship is not consensual. If he not accepting you the way you’re, why bother to have a serious relationship with you.

Note: But do not too comfortable with “the way you’re” right now. If you have some space of you which is lacking, try to improve it. Don’t be someone else, but be a better version of you. Upgrade yourself.

It’s wiser to lose someone rather than being someone that you didn’t want to be. Because a great relationship is a combination of two imperfect couple, who are completing and supporting each other. If your partner truly loves you, he wouldn’t be trying to ‘fix’ you.

3- You are being disrespected.

Respect is one of the most important aspects of any relationship. It does not matter whether you’re men or women, it’s compulsory to respect your partner. It’s a key to happiness for a long-lasting relationship.

Meanwhile, disrespect can ruin a relationship. Disrespect may come in many forms, sometimes you may not fully recognize it on the surface, but you’ll always feel it. Behaviors such as cheating, lying, and insults, are all signs of disrespect. Because it shows that they’re not concern about your feeling and how all of this behavior can affect you.

If you’re not sure whether your partner is disrespecting or just unaware, you can try to consult your partner first. Tell them that you’re unhappy with this type of behavior, it’s hurt your feeling.

Monitor what happens after the discussion, if your partner makes an effort to understand your perspective and try to improve their behavior, they actually care about you. But, if they didn’t care about what actually happens, and still showing a lack of respect for you, it’s time to make a decision and moving forward.

4- Your trust is continuously broken.

Who agrees with me if I said trust and loyalty is priority number one in a relationship. Trust is a foundation in any relationship built, while mistrust is the one who destroys it. Nothing weakens a relationship more than dishonesty.

Take note, when you trust someone and they continuously break your trust, don’t care about your feelings, was not your faults. It’s theirs. You might naturally want to blame yourselves for having trusted someone that you fall in love. Stop it and let it go.

5- They take things for granted.

If someone really wants you in their life, they will work hard to make you happy. Do not hold on into a relationship with someone who takes things for granted. It’s not worth your time and your efforts. Know your worth, place your price! When you give yourselves to someone who doesn’t value you, it’s like you surrender your soul and never get it back.

In a relationship, the energy flow between the couple mostly equal. That why it’s important for you to practice give-and-take. If you practice one person doing all the work, you’ll create unbalance and a disconnected relationship.

If you feel you’ve been doing most of the work to maintain your relationship, try to take a big step backward and see what happens. If your partner starts to pick up the slack and come toward you, then your partner still has the effort to repair the relationship.

However, if you step back and they do not come toward you, instead they get angry or continue to drift away, I think you already know the answers.

6- The goodness is gone.

In any new relationship, there’s always have a feeling of happiness and excitement because of someone we like is coming into our lives. We’ll start care for each other, supporting each other, and love each other! That’s how we feel, it’s intoxicating.

But if you’re in a bad relationship with someone and you increasingly have a negative feeling when they were around you, it’s likely that you’re being with someone who is not compatible with you. Chemistry and shared value are important, a solid relationship is built from the goodness that exists between two people.

relationship standards that actually matter

Goodness is what holds the relationship together. It’s being in every partner side even when they might be wrong. It’s the willingness to forgive a mistake or tolerate an annoying habit from their partner. It’s the support, respect, dedication, responsible, admiration, and commitment you have for each other.

You might have this at the early stage of your relationship, but now it erodes slowly over time. The goodness may be fading because of argument, anger, distance, lack of respect and etc. Unfortunately, one the goodness fade, it’s can hurt your relationship and it’s very hard to regain.

7- They don’t make future plans with you.

If someone really loves and care for you, they will make everything clear. Whether about their job, their schedule and their future plans with you. It means that they prioritize you and they place you in their life.

It’s not because you want to depend on them. But you need to realize, people who are undependable often find an assortment of excuses. Someone undependable is mainly not a person worthy of your presence, and your future.

I’m not saying that you need to know all your future plan right away, but if you’ve been with someone for more than 1 year and they don’t have any plan where things may head with you, they’re not really into you. Love yourselves enough to know that you deserve better.

It’s important for you to know that you never need to settle down for someone who isn’t right for you. We’re not living in a fairy tale, people break promises, loves, and hurt you. Remove the toxic from your life. You know you deserve better. Remember, you can always start dating again.

One Thing That Proves You’re Meant For Each Other

People say the meaning of our life is to find our gift. And the purpose of our life is to give it away.

But in order to give, there’s must be someone to receive it. So who should you give it to?

I bet you already have that ‘someone’ image on your thoughts right now. And as you read this phrase, you can roughly picture his face.

The thing is, you’re not really sure about that. Thinking about him brings up mixed emotions. Because you know that your relationship has potential. And you know how good you could be together.

Yet there’s a pain in there. And that pain comes from the fact that something is blocking you from giving away your greatest gift. Your love..

I know it’s not easy to let go of someone you love. When you’ve shared a special connection with someone, it’s not easy to let it go. Especially when you know, deep in your heart there’s still a lot of potentials to improve the relationship.

You could build a beautiful life together, make a better future.

If that something that you want, then it’s worth fighting for.

But then something comes to your mind. Your own thoughts. And it could be something like this..

“Why not I just settle for some other guy?”

“Why not I pour my love into a guy who adores me more then he did?”

Let me ask you, is that okay to have a relationship with some pudgy guy, poor social skill and have body odor? But he appreciates your love more than anyone you’ve ever met? Should both of you elope?

Of course not. Even he is a normal guy with a handsome face, you may get the same answer.

Why?

Because it’s about mutual desire. Deep down in your heart, he’s not the not. Your heart already makes a decision. She already chooses someone…

And don’t hold your cards, “I’ll only reveal my true feelings if he goes first.”

If you want to win back your man’s heart, there’s something that you need to know. Showing that you still like him is not enough.

You need to find and get past the barriers that are currently keeping you both a part.

No matter how stubborn he is, no matter how “logical” his decision, he’s still human. Which mean emotion drive his decision-making more than anything else.

Here the secret to getting back your ex. Forget about convincing him to give things one more try. Instead, you should focus on changing the way he feels.

Sounds right? If you like the idea, but you’re not sure where to start, I recommend you to check the Relationship rewrite method by James Bauer. I’m not being biased, but it’s really worth your time to check his video.

It could be the beginning of a new chapter with your ex, just waiting for you to turn the page.

why a guy would let go a good woman

Be A Good Women Sometime Won’t Be Enough

Reading Time: 5 minutes

What is the real reason a guy would let go a good woman? Have you ever heard that good woman find herself difficult to get a husband? I’ve heard a lot of response from a woman saying that men leave good women because they didn’t see the good in them, or they take things for granted, or they are ungrateful men.

why men leave good women

But is that a true reason why they would let go a good woman? Or is it just a one-sided assumption from women herself? Well, it may be true, it maybe not.

For women who just break up, the first question is always “why?”

“Why did he leave me?”

“What did I do wrong?”

“Did I offend him?”

The truth is, for men and women, who love each other, if you’re not happy with your relationship (even though you’ve been trying to improve the relationship), you’ll do what’s best for you including let her go.

So, if you’ve been shocked by the men you love unexpectedly ending the relationship, not because of the reason I state above, then there must be a something else. Maybe it’s because of the things that you’re not even realized.

From my personal observation, this is the top reason why a guy would let go a good woman.

1- He felt pressure and inadequate

Were you set any standard in your relationship? For example, he must do this and that before he got something in return. Or did you chase him to get more love and affection than what he was giving you?

If yes, then your relationship definitely is not balanced. It can be one of the reasons why he felt pressure and inadequate in your presence. To be honest, this is not your fault.

Most men usually run from their own emotional pressure (and most of them will never admit it). He just does what he does best when he’s under pressure, like escape from the source of pain in an effort to protect himself.

Men who feel inadequate most likely misinterpret your message or intention. An example, you tell your lover “We never going out anymore”, or “You used to buy me a small gift before”. It’s generally a message to your lover that you wanted them to do something that you’d enjoy.

But what they usually understand is you’re unhappy and he failed to make you happy. In his mind he feel like anything he does isn’t good enough for you.

How to overcome this problem

You can try to change the way you communicate with your lover, try not to focus on what he’s lacking. Choose your word wisely, instead of saying “We never going out anymore”, try “You’d make me happy if you can…” or “I’d love if we can…”. Focus on the positive side of his behavior on you.

Highlight any specific behavior that you want him to repeat more, make it more clear. Don’t just give him a hint and assume he already knows what you really want. Communication is essential for a happy relationship, if you struggling to communicate effectively, check out my other post on how to communicate effectively in a relationship.

2- He feels like he can’t be himself

We always heard that a guy will leave a woman because she’s “nagging” too much, or because she always trying to “fix” that guys. But that doesn’t really explain the whole picture.

When you’re already in a serious relationship, there is the time where you see your partner from a different angle, you’ll discover a new side of him that you never know before. It’s could be good or worse. So it really depends on you on how to manage this situation.

If you try to push your partner to follow your standard or make him feel like he can’t be himself around you, it’s going to grate him. This reason alone might be enough for him to leave you, even if he’s deeply in love with you.

How to overcome this problem

A great relationship is a combination of two imperfect partners, who are supporting each other to become a better person. Being honest, genuine selves with each other can keep your relationship strong. Do not try to changes your partner to follow your direction, instead, both of you need to learn on how to improve yourselves to become a better partner.

Make yourselves clear, if you don’t like the way he acts when he’s being honest and genuine to you, make a decision and move forward.

3- He’s tired of being compared to other men

Do you know what is the root of joy and happiness in every relationship for men? It’s simply because of knowing that we’re the chosen one, out of everyone in the world, by our partner. We can smile all day when we know that you choose us.

Did you remember your lover said, “thank you for choosing me” or “thank you for accepting me in your life”, right? It shows how grateful he was when you choose him to become your partner.

But when you, or your friends, or your families compared him to the other men, it hurt them so much, inside. He feels like he’s not your first choice, he has been compared negatively to the other men and he doesn’t stack up. This can erode his joy and his desire to be in the relationship.

Maybe you can say that he was soft and not up to the challenges. But deep down you know, that’s not true. Try to twist the plot, let’s say he said something to you, that you’re not good enough to be compared with his friend girlfriend. How did you feel?

No one wants to feel that way, it’s a horrible feeling. It’s enough to make him leave the relationship.

How to overcome this problem

Simple – Do not compare your partner with other people. Instead, try to compare them with a monkey or fish. It will be much better.

4- He didn’t feel respected

Maybe you’re a good fine woman with pretty eyes and beautiful hair. You have a stable income and working at a good company. But if you can’t respect your partner, your relationship simply won’t work. There are no men in the world can’t build a life with a woman who’s doesn’t respect him.

It doesn’t matter if you are older than him or make more money than him. You still need to show respect to your partner. That the basic rule in a relationship.

MoreRelationship Advice For Women: How To Date A Younger Man

How to overcome the problem

He has to feel that you’re on his back beyond and above anyone else. Because you’re the key to his success and greatness. In order for him to unlock all the ability around him, he needs a deep and solid foundation of respect. With you as a high caliber women by his side, he can achieve more success and take greater risk in his life.

So now you’ve already known the reason why a guy would let go a good woman. If you one of the women, it’s time to reflect and take immediate action to rectify the situation if you still love him. Once you know to break through his defense and touch his heart, he will be yours.

If you have good advice to add to this list please share it through a comment below.

Not Happy In Your Relationship

7 Signs Of A Bad Relationship and It Is Almost Over

Reading Time: 6 minutes

Everyone wants a healthy and happy relationship that lasts long. But in order to maintain a healthy relationship, both of you must require a remarkable amount of focus and effort. Do not take things for granted, tolerate, supports each other, show gratitude are the most important keys for a happy relationship.

But at some point, we all get involved in serious challenges in the relationship. After that, we realized that things start to changes. Our partner suddenly became a different person. We will feel like, “he was not like this when I first know him”, right? The fact is, he also start thinking the same about you.

signs of a bad relationship

That’s how the journey of an unhappy relationship start. The sad truth is, there’s a lot of couples out there who stays together even though they are unhappy. They stay in that relationship may be because of their kid’s sake, life commitment, compassion, loyalty, patience, and many other reasons.

What are the signs of a bad relationship?

So maybe you need to ask yourselves, have you ever been feeling stuck in your relationship? Are things not moving fast enough? If you not sure, here the 7 signs that you’re not happy in your relationship. Hope it can help you clarify the problem that has been bothering you and help you figure out what course of action best serve you from here.

1- You avoid spending time with your partner.

Avoidance is a sure sign that there is trouble in your relationship. A relationship requires work, time and energy to make it work. So if you feel bored, uninterested, or not enjoying time spent with your partner, it could mean that you’re not happy with your partner.

But do not confuse this. If you’re having a good time with your friends or finally have a moment for yourselves after your busy day and ignore all the incoming text or phone call, don’t worry. You’re allowed to have your “me” time for yourselves.

What I mean by avoidance is when you feel flinch with the idea of watching a movie together or have dinner together. If this happens, it’s time to start re-evaluating things.

2- You rarely initiate sex these days.

Do you believe that sex is a good barometer to judge the state of your relationship? For me, it depends on the situation. Let’s say you just have the baby within your small family, don’t expect to have sex as many as you have before the child was born.

But if you rarely initiate sex, without any specific reason, you just feel don’t like it or bored, then you might be struggling with the relationship. Sexual connection is necessary to your wellbeing and the intimacy you need in your relationship.

Frankly speaking, we generally don’t want to have sex with someone when we don’t feel some sense of joy or pleasure with that person. So ask yourselves a question, are you really not sexually attracted to your partner anymore.

3- You are feeling insecure

When you start dating someone, it will take some time for you to figure out whether you fit their world or not. You probably make some effort to know more about their work, their family and close friends. You want to be one of their important things in their lives.

Read: 7 Secrets To A Happy Marriage From Man’s Perspective

However, when your relationship starts to crumble, you’ll start to see the sign of insecurities. The main problem with insecurities in a relationship is that it start o affect both you and your partner.

Nowadays, with the presence of the internet, smartphone, and social media, insecurities run wild in a relationship. As an example, it’s could be that you’re always want to check up on your partner phone. You want to know who they’ve been texting, direct messaging, or call.

If you’re constantly self-doubt about your relationship, perhaps this isn’t the relationship that you should be in. However, if the feeling of insecurities is just based on your imagination, it’s time to correct it as soon as possible.

4- You start looking at other people as a potential partner.

There’s always a man walking around you, and the problem is they start to get your attention. Have you ever thought something like this:

“will it be better if I married to this kind of man”

“why I didn’t meet someone like this before”

“I wish my partner can be like him”

When you start comparing your partner with the other men, the game has already changed. Later you’ll start to wish your partner to be more like your friend’s husband, or you find yourselves fully attracted to a specific man.

This will not happen if you’re really happy in your marriage or relationship. Because you don’t feel the need to look somewhere else, and in fact, you don’t really even think about it.

5- You don’t have much to talk to your partner.

It will awkward if you going to dinner with your partner sitting in complete silence and uncomfortably staring at your dinner plate. If you and your partner regularly find yourselves in this uneasy situation, you should discuss whether you should stay together or not.

Because communication is the cornerstone of a happy relationship. When we care about someone, we will make an effort to listen to what they want to say. If you have any resentment, you must talk it out rather than let the resentment grow. Discuss it with your partner and be open so they can be worked out.

If you still arguing about almost everything, even after you’ve tried to work on this problem, consider talking to a couples counselor. Involving the third party in your relationship sometimes can be very helpful. I hate to tell you this, but if you don’t think the relationship is worth that kind of commitment, it might be time to throw in the towel.

6- You’ve stopped trying to impress them.

When you first meet with your partner, you really put your best effort to impress them. It could be that you wear your most flattering outfits, go to the saloon to make your hair, and even arrived 1 hour earlier waiting for him. This is a normal part of the courtship process in an early relationship.

Then, there will come a day when they have to see you in your homey pajamas with messy hair, or maybe it’s even worse than that. You’ll also start to see the other side of your partner. This is real life if you’re going to have a reality-based relationship.

Even after you’ve become more comfortable with your partner, you still want to take care of your appearance right? Because physical appearance plays a vital part in your relationship life. If this element of trying to impress your partner suddenly disappears, you might have a problem.

Simply said, if you don’t have a need to impress them, you need to question yourselves your own level of interest and commitment that you willing to give to your partner.

7- You’ve been cheating.

In a relationship, everyone does not like being deceived, same goes to you and your partner. Once you’ve been decided to be in a serious relationship, you need to create strong boundaries with any third party that can cause a problem down the line. Right?

This could involve ending a friendship and limiting contact with a certain type of people, that is worth to protect your relationship. This is a normal situation in a normal relationship.

But, if you start exchanging sexually suggestive text, or sharing personal details about your relationship with someone that you’ve been flirt with, you actually have been cheating.

Obviously, I don’t have the right to judge you, but you can ask this within yourselves. If this behavior make you feel guilty? Or did you didn’t want your partner find out about this?

Be honest with yourselves, have you been cheating? I assume you’ve already known the answer.

Take action or move on

If you discover that you’re unhappy with your relationship, you can still make a change. Because it’s not easy to choose to break up if you’re a married couple, there’s a lot of things you need to consider before you make a decision.

So what you need to do is, try to list out which area you’re lacking and focus to improve those areas. Ask your partner to take part in this improvement. Try to give your best shot. If you’ve already made an improvement and still unhappy, give yourselves permission to end a relationship with your partner.

Your marriage is the place you live most of the time, so it should be a happy place, not a prison. Take responsibility for your own happiness. You only live once, you deserve and worthy of happiness.

What your opinion about the list? Leave your comment below, we love to hear your feedback.