The longer you in a relationship, the more likely your sex life is going to suffer. There’s a lot of reason why your sex life is going down. You’ll have the baby, your life getting busy, you’re getting tired and etc. Sooner or later, it will affect your relationship.
When it comes to sex, even the most deeply committed couples will likely go through this situation, where intimacy happens rarely or not at all. Lack of physical closeness can put a significant strain on your relationship.
Worst case, it could lead to breaking up and divorce. We know that build up a family is never going to be easy, sometime you’ll feel stressed and exhausted. That is why both of you need to put an extra effort to manage the situation.
No matter what the situation or circumstances, you need to come up with a few simple ways to spice up your sex life. Here are some of the ideas that have worked for other couples who are facing the same problem. Feel free to adjust the idea that can fit with your own sensibilities and lifestyle.
1- Dressing up for him
Maybe some of you think that this is outdated and just won’t do the trick. Well, it’s true that this is just a simple trick, but it’s still WORK. Be creative! Don’t afraid to try something new, ask your partner, discuss with him about his preferences. Get a new idea.
It could be that you wear sexy lingerie, a superhero costume, anime cosplay, sexy nurse cosplay and more. If you don’t want to wear any costume or any type of slutty clothes, you can wear something provocative.
Make it something that will make him look twice. Maybe a type of dress or skirt that can remind him of why he likes you so much. As an example, wear a skirt that’s a little shorter than usual. A top that shows your curve, or anything that can highlight your good points.
2- Build Anticipation
Take a few steps back and check, which area you’re lacking. Sometimes sex life can be dull and boring because there’s no accretion, no anticipation, no excitement before you have sex with your partner. It looks like it’s one of your essential routine for your married life.
You’re not waiting for it, and there’s nothing special about sex. So, why not you try something he’s not expecting coming from you. If you’re working, text your partner and let him know how much you missing him, use a language of desire techniques, tell him how horny you are and how much you want him now.
Tell him in detail, what you’re planning to do with him when you return home. You’ll not believe how excited your partner when he received a text like that. He will be coming home sharp waiting for you!
3- Talk dirty and sexting
Basically, men are not attracted to women who are afraid to express themselves sexually. So, you should confidently use dirty talk to get what you want in bed, and men love that. Dirty talk also can be used in a text message.
Let me give you examples that you can try it straight away. Take your phone and send a text message to your partner like this “I can’t stop thinking about the time on the beach (something similar to this). You didn’t know how bad I want you inside me right now” with an emoticon. And see his response.
4- Explore his fantasies (and yours!)
Everyone has their own sexual fantasies. The only problem is, they didn’t share their fantasies with their own partner. Maybe because they’re afraid or feel ashamed of their partner.
According to the sex researcher, Pepper Schwartz, Ph.D., a sociology professor at the University of Washington in Seattle, the most common men’s sexual fantasies are about their partner doing things they wouldn’t ordinarily do.
So there might be a certain fantasy that can make your partner turn on, as well as you. But you didn’t have a chance to experience it in real life. So explore it.
5- Tie his hand
Tying your partner hand to the bed, then tease him. It’s a no hand rule. Your partner can’t touch you for the entire session. You can take this chance to explore his body, use your hand, your lips, skin, and breath to turn him on.
Change the role anytime you want. He would love to explore your body also. Both of you will have a great time.
6- Blind oral
To increase the excitement, combine this technique with point no. 5 above. While tying your partner hand to the bed, add blindfold before performing oral sex. Inhibiting your partner sight will make all their other sense in hyper-alert mode.
Plus, not knowing what you will do next will heighten the anticipation. This could be one of your partner sexual fantasies. So if you are never done things like this before you need to try. It’s fun, and both of you will enjoy it.
7- Keep your clothes on
If you always making sex naked, maybe you need to try something new. You can just remove a key piece of clothing, or unzip his fly instead of removing his pants, or push your underwear to the side instead of removing.
As long as you’re comfortable with, just try it. It may seem silly, but that kind of need-you-now urgency can make your session seriously hot. You also can combine this trick with point no. 1, dress up and keep the clothes on.
Add a role-play to act out your wildest fantasy, you could become a teacher, cowgirl or anything you love to be. There is no limit. As long as you and your partner enjoy it, this can provide hours of entertainment.
8- Learn a new sex position
This is the easiest and one of the most effective ways to keep your sex life interesting. Normally people tend to stick to a few positions only when they’re making love. Because they know this is what makes their partner happy and they also enjoy it.
But, even though you already have a few amazing tricks, it never hurts to switch things up and try something new. Trying a new position is a great way to get a new experience that you might like. Plus, if your man was not eager to try out a new sex position, then you will be the one who takes action.
There’s no need to tell your man which position first that you would like to try. Instead, just take the position and help to guide your man. If you never take a lead in your bed before, maybe this is a good time to try out something new. Your man definitely gonna enjoy this!
Here a list of sex position that you should try. Thanks, Women’s Health for the list.
9- Put sex on the calendar
Planning for sex can bring your sex experiences to a different level, and it’s fun! You and your partner will have a feeling of waiting for the perfect moment to strike. So a lot of things can be prepared, such as go to the salon, buy a new sexy dress and etc.
Don’t just choose a date and time, instead, make more specific plans. As an example, choose a place, a room, even a sexual fantasy or role play that you might want to try. By setting the stage as best as you can beforehand, you definitely can achieve a better result.
10- Say goodbye to the bedroom
Explore new areas at your own home. Instead of waiting on the bed, you can shake things up by having sex in a different place. Start with your home, it could be in the living room, bathroom, kitchen area, store, garage or anywhere you think possible.
Or maybe there’s a nice clearing in your backyard, plus a small garden and fish pond. And you’ve always wanted to straddle your partner in the long chair in front of your fish pond. Make a plan (point no. 9), ask him to meet you outside and enjoy your fantasies.
11- Avoid sex routine
Avoid the same old bored sex routine. You need to do something new if you want to spice up your sex life. All the point explains above can be used for you to generate a new idea. Bored routine not only mess up your sex life, but it’s can affect your relationship.
So if you want to keep your sex life and relationship fun, and satisfying, you can follow the tips we share above. But I do recommend you to start with something simple, something that you can reach and apply as soon as you can, as an example, foreplay or dirty talk.
12- Jump in the shower
This simple step is just for the add-on to the list. I believe many of you already done this. But if you already in a relationship for more than 2 years and you’ve stopped doing this. I think you need to reconsider this option.
This simple practice can give you a good result. Next time your man goes for the shower, follow him in a minute later. You can make him happy by:
- Scrub his body and wash his back.
- You can give him BJ (He will ask you to shower together next time).
- Anything possible, including S.E.X
As a conclusion, there’s a lot of things that you can try to spice up your sex life, the only things that you need to remember are, ask for your partner consent before you try anything new. Good luck!