Being single can be the best moment in your life. You can do whatever you want to do, hang out with your buddies, flirt with girls, go travel around the world and etc. However, after some time, you may start to feel sick and tired of being single.
There’s nothing wrong with being single, I also didn’t agree with the thought of being in a relationship or married is superior to being single. But, as a normal human being, getting in love or relationship is the part of the human needs.
This is also stated in Abraham Maslow’s theory, Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. According to his theory, there is a five-tier model of human needs, which looks like a pyramid. You can refer the image below to get a visual view.
Basically, after you satisfied the basic needs of the hierarchy, you tend to attend the needs higher up. Which are belongingness and love need. And the motivation to fulfill such needs will grow stronger when the longer the duration they are been denied.
So the reason why you start to feel tired of being single maybe because of your psychological needs are not been fulfilled. Humans need to love and to be loved, both sexually and non-sexually. It’s a broad topic actually, but in this article, we will focus on love and relationship.
But before we start, we don’t want you to feel down about being single. In this article, we will discuss a few topics. We will start with the benefit of being single and how to be happy when you are single.
Then, we will continue with how to stop being single and the transition from being single into a relationship.
Let’s get started…
Is It Good To Be Single?
There’s a lot of benefit to being single. You can focus on your career path, no financial pressure of supporting and maintaining a relationship, gaining wisdom, spend time on your hobby, planning for your future and much more.
Being single means that you’re totally in charge of your life. So use this time properly for your own benefits, especially for your future.
According to one research, people who are single may enjoy their 9-to-5 work more than a married couple. They are also having the flexibility to work extra hours that can certainly help them to move up the ladder fast.
Being single also gives you more time to yourself. Use that time to explore things that you want to do in your life. Pursue your passions, immerse yourself in the process and gain experiences from it. This is the time to develop your skills and talent that you may have forgotten or didn’t know you even had.
You can also use this time to be in shape. Spend your quality time on physical activity, hit the gym, play sports, and be active! Good shape can build up your confidence and make you look attractive. It also can attract your potential partner.
How Can I Be Happy Being Single?
Being single is often overlooked and seen as a disadvantage by society. The truth is, not everyone is actually in a relationship. Sometimes, they are being single is not because they want to be alone, but it’s because of certain circumstances that may be hard to explain.
And without moral support, being in a single relationship can be very hard, you can easily feel lonely, depressed and stressful. Which is not right!
We all deserve to be happy, regardless of our relationship status. You can definitely be happy being single, and the sooner you can feel comfortable with the title, the better. Here how you can happy being single:
1# Remember you’re not alone.
Spend more time with your friends and family. Research shows that spending time with friends and family can boost your happiness. Daniel Gilbert, Harvard happiness expert says:
“We are happy when we have family, we are happy when we have friends and almost the other things we think make us happy are actually just ways of getting more family and friends.”
Money can’t buy you happiness, but spending your time with family and friends is always a good investment. It is the best way to create memorable experiences and also been proven as one of the best ways to combat stress.
2# Appreciate your freedom
Be happy with your freedom, be happy that you don’t need to do things that you don’t want to do in order to keep your partner happy. You just need to spend your time on whatever you want. But do it in a good way.
As an example, spend your time and money on your hobbies, career and your overall wellbeing. Make a goal for yourself, create a routine that works for you and feel proud of your new accomplishment. Take this chance to have a higher quality of life.
3# Learn to love yourself
Can you be happy by loving yourself?
Of course, you definitely can!
Those who are able to love themselves, seem to easily create a happy and fulfilling life. Because your relationship with yourself is the most defining factor of shaping the life that you live.
Besides, being in love with yourself can increase your self-confidence, self-worth and generally help you to feel more positive. You will stop comparing yourself to others. You also not worrying about what others think about you because you know yourself better than anyone else.
#4 Join volunteer works
“The more we give, the happier we feel.”
Joining a volunteer work can help you make friends, learn new skills, increase self-confidence, provides a natural sense of accomplishment and even feel happier and healthier. Benefits of volunteering can enormous, you actually offer vital help to people in need and to the community.
Giving to others can help you protect your mental and physical health. It also reduces your stress, depression, and provides a sense of purpose.
I highly recommend you to join volunteer works because it does not involve long-term commitment, or use a huge amount of your time. You just need to spend your free time to help those in need. It is a fun and fulfilling activity, and at the same time, it improves your health and happiness.
#5 Meet new people
You can use point no.4 above to make new friends. Joining any activity in your community is a great way to meet new people. Getting involved with new people can increase your social and relationship skills. Who knows, maybe you can meet your potential partner too.
It might be hard at first, but you need to keep trying to build up momentum. As an example, try to focus on chatting with a few people, no matter who they are, then get positive energy from there. The more people you get within your circle, the more you’ll able to branch out.
If you want to try to start a conversation with new people, these tips might help:
- Put your phone away
- Remove your headphone or etc
- Relax the muscle in your face
- Straighten your back
- Uncross your arm
- Try to smile naturally
Try it out, and don’t forget. Be confidence!
Tired Of Being Single, I Want To Be In A Relationship
If you want to be in a relationship, first you need to know what did you really want in a relationship. Don’t start a relationship just because of:
- You want to feel special (We already discuss this above, you’re already special. Treat yourself like one)
- You want someone to take care of you.
- You bored, you need someone by your side.
- You want to be a better person (Be a better person first, then find someone you love)
- and etc
All of these examples is not a real reason why you want to be in a relationship.
It’s true that everyone wants to feel special, safe, secure, to be loved, and cherished. And there’s no point of getting into a relationship if your partner doesn’t make you feel happy, take away your loneliness and make you feel great about yourself right?
But if you think carefully, this is not fair. You’re expecting your future partner to prepare something for you, and you’re doing nothing!
Dr. Margeret Paul, Ph.D., co-creator of Inner Bonding and popular writer for Huffington Post said something like this:
“When two people come together because they want to learn together, grow together, heal together, share their time and companionship, and share their love and passion, they have a good chance of creating a lasting, loving relationship.”
This is a good point highlighted by Dr. Margeret. So, instead of hoping something from your future partner, how about if you prepare something in return also. By learning how to love yourself, cherish yourself, and make yourself feel special. You are actually ready to share your love and share your best with your future partner.
Because there are no ways you can share your love with him/her if you’re not filling yourself with love first.
How To Stop Being Single?
Getting yourself ready before going into a relationship is mandatory.
If you learn about the Law of Attraction, you must realize that we attract people at our common level of happiness and wellbeing. Given that, you can have a better chance of creating a healthy and loving relationship when you have “that kind” of relationship with yourself.
So if you want to stop being single and get into a relationship. You always need to start with yourself first. Be a person that will attract a good future partner for you, not the other way around.
Maybe you can start by creating a goal for yourself. Then plan steps on how to achieve this goal. For example:
- Set the ideal body weight that you want to achieve.
- Set up the daily routine table for a healthy lifestyle.
- Get some help with a local therapist.
- Or you can just improve your knowledge through self-help books from your local bookstore.
- Work on yourself to improve inner peace, self-esteem, and self-confidence.
- Join any relationship program on the internet.
- Be proactive with your dating life.
- Build up a good characteristic.
- Set up your financial stability.
Please keep in mind, all these things are not for your partner’s sake. It’s actually for your own goods. This way, when you decide to get a partner, you can go into it as a confident, self-aware individual with clear needs.
If you need more information regarding this topic, you can check my other post here, five proven methods to start dating.
Transition From Single Into A Relationship
When you’re already been single for a long time, then it might be hard for you to adjust to being in a relationship. Your daily routine will start to change, you can’t continue doing whatever you wanted, you can’t put your own needs as your top priority anymore and etc.
You might be sharing all the love, happiness, companionship and everything. But you can’t deny the fact that you both can’t be on the same page with everything. Sooner or later, there will be more complicated issue arise.
1# Get rid of the baggage
If you’re previously had a bad experience with your relationship, it’s important for you to remove your unresolved emotional baggage. Try your best for not bringing up the past relationship to a new one. Your new partner is not your ex, they don’t deserve all the problems from the past.
2# Start with the talk
When you’re in a new relationship, there will be a lot of things that need to be discussed. You have your own preference, and he/she also the same. When you have something in your mind, bring up the conversation and discussed it with your partner.
Communication is a big deal in every relationship. It acts as a medium to transfer information from one person to another. It also helps you to express your feeling and solving problems. But if it not done correctly, it will bring negativity and misunderstanding.
3# Loosen up
After so long being single, you may have your own way with everything around your house or personal space. But when your partner begins spending time together under the same roof, things will slightly start to change.
This is when you need to loosen up with a few of your household rules, if necessary. Because everyone has their own characteristics. You can’t expect your partner to follow all your rule.
4# Give your partner some space
Give your partner some space and ask him/her to do the same thing in return. This is quite important because when you’re single, you are used to your “alone time”. And you can do whatever you wanted at that time.
However, when you’re in a relationship, most probably your partner wants to spend most of their time with you. Or it could be because of the work schedule that makes you both don’t have your “alone time”. So, you need to discuss this topic properly with your partner.
According to a clinical psychologist, Randi Gunther, she suggests that maybe you need to make a mental list of your priorities for being alone vs do things as a couple. Identify when you both need alone time vs couple time.
Knowing all these things in detail can help you know which time is important to you, so you can prioritize things accordingly. Drafting these priorities can make it easier to be compromised.
Every relationship needs respect. It comes along with admiration and honor which is shown for someone who you think they have good qualities as well as important.
When you change from single into a relationship, you need to accept a new fact that now you’re living with a “stranger”. Your partner may come from different family backgrounds, education, and culture. So, their preference and perspective might be different from you.
In case you are not on the same page on certain things, you still need to maintain the level of respect to your partner. Be open and respect your partner’s opinion. Discuss the problem to achieve an agreement from both parties. This practice will help your relationship grow stronger and happier.
Finding the right person to be in a relationship is easier than keeping that love and commitment over time. So it important for you to be prepared for a new relationship with an open mind. Be ready and available for it before it happens.
The transition from a single to a new relationship can be a little tricky. But it doesn’t mean that you need to take it negatively. Take the opportunity of being single to prepare yourself for what to come when you’re going into a relationship.
Please leave a comment below if you had any questions or any tips that you want to share with our readers.