Why Do Men Pull Away After Getting Close?

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The lives of many women become a real nightmare because they don’t understand why a guy, who claims to be in love with her, suddenly moves out of the relationship. Really? Yes… That is exactly what are we gonna discuss in today’s article, why do men pull away after getting close?

Sometimes, it really doesn’t make sense. After promising a good life together, why they suddenly decided to create distance? It is quite a mystery and most of the women were left hanging without any leads or reasons from their partners.

Well, I know it’s not easy for you to put up with this weird behavior from men. Indeed it’s strange behavior. But rest assured, let me explain some of the reasons why a man in love walks away from their own relationship.

A Man in Love Walks Away Because He Needs Space

If you notice something is off in your relationship, such as you haven’t seen him in a while, his texts or calls are shorter and less frequent, and he seems unhappy all the time, then he might be asking for some space next.

Honestly, this happens quite often in a relationship and it almost becomes the natural behavior of men.

But how can this become their natural behavior? Maybe from a women’s perspective, if someone is in love then something happens, they should have talked to their partner, discussed with their partner. They should not act selfishly and left their partner hanging.

These thoughts are logical; however, to explain the matter better, there is a difference between men and women when they are communicating with each other. Usually, a woman, when you have a problem, the first thing you do is try to get in touch with a friend or family member to get all the things out.

You feel better when you communicate with the other person. Right?

Meanwhile, men usually act differently. Rather than talking to another person, they love to try to solve the problem by themselves. So maybe, they simply want some space to manage things on their own. Since most women don’t understand this pattern of men, their perspectives will be different.

When a man walked away, she thinks that he doesn’t love her anymore. She believes that he doesn’t care about her and he’s going after other women or trying to end things. These are the thoughts that tickle most of the women when their partner starts asking for some space.

And without being aware, they actually started diving for the answers in panic mode.

Don’t Panic When He Says He Needs Space

It is undeniable that a sudden shift in your partner’s behavior can send you into panic mode. You can’t stop your mind from spinning and fearing the worst.

As an example, you will start thinking that you’re doing something wrong. Like, is it because of what you’ve said to him last time? Did you break a promise with him? Did he no longer interested in you? All these kinds of questions will keep spinning in your head.

Or worse, you simply pull away first and disappear, in a hope that it will make him chase you back. Unfortunately, this way of thinking is not going to help you. Instead, you may unintentionally just push him away or hurt him.

Trust me, if you choose to react by retaliating, resentment, hatred, or fear, you will lose the chance to improve the quality of your relationship and make it better. So you need to remove all these negative emotions and start to learn to understand your partner better.

1# Learn why he asks for space?

When a woman doesn’t understand a man, she makes the mistake of going after him and stops him from moving away. However, when her partner doesn’t agree, she mistakenly assumes that her partner doesn’t care about her.

But the truth is, personal space is part of any happy relationship, especially for men. Men are wired to focus on one thing at a time. If you open their head and look into their brain, you will see a lot of boxes. It means that, when they focus on one box, they will ignore the others box.

And if they need to open another box, they will close the previous box hoping that it does not touch or disturb any of the other boxes. That is why when men are too focus on certain things, they are really into it and didn’t want to be disturb.

If you want to read more about this box theory, please refer to this article: How women and men have different Brains.

As a man, if their partner leaves no room for longing, he subconsciously understands that he is unable to meet her needs. And as a result, he no longer feels his importance in the relationship. Having this kind of thought subconsciously will make them drift away.

So, if you’ve been in a great relationship before, do not panic when he asked for some space. Instead, get to know why he needs the space and learn to trust his decision. You know your relationship and your partner better than anyone else.

2# He’s having doubts about the relationship

A fear of commitment could be one of the possible reasons why he is having doubts about the relationship. He is contemplating how good the relationship makes him feel against the loss of freedom that he had before.

This is one of the reasons why you should not chase him right after he asked for space. At this time, it is important that he feels good about the relationship. If he thinks that something is imprecise with the relationship while he’s trying to figure it out, then it makes him much more likely to decide that it isn’t worth it after all.

3# He’s had a bad experience with his previous relationship

Sometimes, it is not because of you, but it is based on the negative experiences of his past. He may still be worrying about issues from his previous relationship such as insecurities, expectations, disagreements, and more.

Having a history of disappointment can make them become more cautious with their decision. Men love to act strong and mighty to embrace the pain and hide their wounds. But deep down, they might have developed a sense of security.

We are all fragile creatures, sometimes we need time and space to recover. But we also need support from our partner to move forward. So, as a supportive partner, you should give them a chance to recover from their past. Tell them that you are always there if they need your support.

4# He’s confusing lust for love

There is a time when a man thinks he is in love, but in fact, he is only physically attracted. So after a while, it could be that the intense physical attraction that he had starting to fade. This is when things start to feel wrong.

Lust can bring you the excitement that you need in a relationship, but love goes beyond that. Love is a bit more complex, it involves deep affection, trust, and acceptance of a person including flaws and all. When it comes to love, physical appearance is just a side dish.

It is completely normal for men to feel that they are in love in the early stages of the relationship. So, you just need to learn to interpret correctly what he is feeling and what he is conveying. In these situations, you should act in a way that doesn’t lower your position with him.

You can identify if a man is really in love or just initially curious and physically attracted to you. All you need to do is to read his gestures. You should also learn what you can do to turn this initial curiosity within him into a true love for you.

5# It wasn’t meant to be

No matter how much we want to preserve the relationship, there is always a time that we need to accept that the relationship is going to end. The truth is, we can never make someone stay in a relationship if they are not ready or wired in that direction.

This is when most of the women become so confused, they didn’t know whether they need to wait or just move forward. I totally understand that, because when we already put a lot of effort, time, and energy into our relationship, it is really hard to believe that things aren’t really working.

One of the options here is to wait for them to change their mind. But we never know how long that will actually take. So if your gut is telling you that you can no longer trust your partner and they are wrong for you, then it may be time for you to move on.

Letting go of your relationship is not going to be easy, but it could be the best decision that you’ve made in your life. Just let the time pass and hope for the best. Who knows, maybe there is someone else better waiting to hold your hand.

Summing up

As long as the woman assumes that her partner is responsible for her unhappiness, insecurity, fear, despair, and distrust, it will continue to make her wonder why do men move away. But with a clear understanding of the varied need of men, you will feel relieved and can make a better judgment.

I hope these tips help. If you need more insight on this topic, I suggest you check my other post: What to do when he pulls away and how to win him back. Hopefully, when you know a few things about why men pulling away, you will have better ideas on how to act accordingly.

Making a good decision will help you both enjoying a great relationship with your partner. Start implying them today and award yourself with a quality love life.

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Harry

Senior Dating Expert at Theuglyfact.com

Harry is a relationship coach who helps individuals and couples to find greater fulfillment in their personal and romantic relationships. He loves writing and reading during his spare time. He hopes all his writing will help people to improve their relationships.